When given the choice for friends I chose poorly, from an eccentric assortment of junkies, outlaws, degenerates, hoarders, gamers and racists. As my interest and lifestyle choices changed, and novelty became drudgery, maturity was a blessing, and I distanced myself. Who knew that the types I sought for transient fun were undesirable for long lasting camaraderie?

When I got married I inherited a new family with virtues I’d never previously considered valuable: strong work ethic, aversion to legal and social mischief, and genuine good looks. Despite our differences in most things, we have easily gotten along so far, a testament to my social game. For friends do not require a peacemaking dynamic like in-laws do; friends become memories, in-laws remain reality—every major event from here on out will be spent with my unchosen in-laws, as required by the laws of decency. I need always be decent.

Now that I will never be alone for the holidays, an objective good, there can also be major drawbacks: learning to live with people who are better than me. This is a good drawback. Having good character is contagious. I have become obscenely polite because my future depends on it. I avoid divisive topics at the dinner table—thankfully, we agree on all the important stuff—and choose soft conversations, like books, true crime, or asking my surgeon brother-in-law about skin grafts.

Years before accepting the challenge of getting married, I was put to the test to tolerate the guy my cousin married. He always needed to be the loudest and funniest person at the table and plagiarized jokes from the plagiarist comedian, Carlos Mencia. My clueless aunts would enable him with adoration because he was the loud new guy. He saw a tepid and quiet family and decided to become the center of attention.

On the rare occasion I see him now, he ignores me completely. I must have said something to offend him in 2016. At a barbecue a few years ago, I stood in a group conversation under the tent by the potato salad. When I asked him something for the sake of polite conversation, he addressed my dad with the answer. He addressed everyone around me with his loudmouthed quip or question.

Another time, I was leaving a family lunch at a restaurant just as he was arriving with his two children. My cousin was in the Sephora next door to the restaurant, and as I stepped onto the street in front of him, we made eye contact, and I waved. Not to initiate small talk. Just a modicum of acknowledgment for a guy I’ve known for 20 years. All he had to do to keep the peace was wave back. Instead, he used both hands to shield his eyes from the sun and pretended like he was looking for his wife in the store, standing on his tip toes. He couldn’t even nod his head.

Luckily, I don’t even see him once a year; he will avoid events that I am attending, including my wedding.

On Survivor, he would be voted out early. That is bad social game, and he turned me into an enemy. He has an ego and no self awareness; he mistakes attention for affection. I am an expert at detecting the annoyances of others, and would gladly lead a campaign to get him out. Not immediately, though. I’d need him to annoy others first. He is a lawyer and litigator, and his phony personality would do most of my work for me.

In contrast, my new sister-in-law, whom I decided yesterday is my arch-nemesis, is someone to study. She possesses a rare combination of athletic prowess, strategic mind and social ease. She is interested enough in others to engage everyone in conversation. She doesn’t possess any self-doubt; not from arrogance, but competence.

She is the mother of two boys who she fairly and lovingly parents; she is charismatic but not obnoxious or overstimulating; she is quick witted, and effortlessly commands respect from all in her periphery. She is a shark for some investment bank, I think, and might have an MBA from an Ivy League school, albeit one of the lesser ones. I want to keep up with her, but our worlds are too different: I can only ask silly questions about golf and business. Golf, the sport I once prided myself as being too unrefined to learn, and business, where competency in math turns douchebags into millionaires.

She is the type of girl whose interests and habits are so alien to mine, that it was better to pretend that her kind didn’t exist, and didn’t also run the world.

That backfired, and now “her kind” is my sister-in-law forever.

After spending the afternoon with her at the golf tournament, and dinner at home, I can say that she would easily win Survivor, dominating the entirety of the game: physically, socially, strategically. Survivor is my thing! She doesn’t get to be effortlessly better than me at my thing because she works hard, isn’t neurotic, and possesses all the traits that make her a genetic winner in life!

Everyone thinks they will win Survivor in their own way; that their quirks and even social ineptitudes will still grant them favors from the game’s randomness, that they will always be the hero of Survivor, even when they lose. That is a delusion. My sister-in-law would win Survivor outright and put my delusional “super fan” to shame. She would probably get a hero’s edit too!

So, the best way for me to appreciate her role in my life is to study this personality and behavior as a blueprint for a type of female competitor that I may come across on Survivor.

From a Survivor perspective, I would play under the radar. I would help around camp and I would share my rice and vote with the crowd for the the guy my cousin married. I would appear as a goofy non-threat at first, and ingratiate myself to the power players, careful not to reveal my intentions to vote her out to anyone too early.

My sister-in-law would be the tribe’s de facto leader on her charisma alone, and earn respect through her strength in challenges and likability at camp. I would secretly want her attention—which is exactly her strategy—but I know there would be someone else she would choose to be her number two. This would hurt my feelings, because one of my weakness is being overlooked by people I admire, but I would not let my emotions cloud my stratagem. To mount a secret offense against her after the merge, and carefully eliminate her before she dominates challenges, I would have to feel out other quiet players who also see her as a threat. I don’t know what other kinds of people I am playing with, so I can’t say too much more about that. Just that I can’t come on too strongly. I am sneaky, not aggressive.

The dynamics I experience with my in-laws expose me to sophisticated personality types and prepares me for interaction with genteel types, but also how to treat and speak to the lowly.

I already intuit that finding common ground is a necessity for trust, and a skill I practice. More importantly, it is a skill I have seen my sister-in-law use on me. Most of the time, I do not want to know someone superficially—five minutes of polite banter with a stranger at a party barely scratches the surface, and when there is nothing to gain, it is not worth engaging. I need to change this negative outlook; being interested in your neighbors is a brilliant strategic and persuasive social tactic.

In our real relationship, there is nothing to win; I exchange pleasantries sporadically, maintain peace, and recognize boundaries. Yet, I continue to observe, strategize and practice for Survivor. I don’t feel envy, I take notes. In learning from her, I refine my understanding of human behavior, social strategy, and the art of patience.

Thankfully, my sister-in-law is too busy to think about me, and too disinterested to read this. Our rivalry is one-sided. I am a gnat among thousands vaguely smeared across her windshield, on her way to work to hollow out a small town’s local business by off shoring the four generations of craftmanship to a third world country.

If she read or found this, she would find it funny in a pathetic way, then instantly forget it because of her busy work, family and life schedule.

And in person, it might be weird. But I wouldn’t make it weird. I know how to play into my weirdness and be oddly charming to smooth it over. I’d make a great Survivor underdog. Defects are more interesting than perfection.

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Aubry won, and I am at peace. Aubry, the girl whose name I spelled incorrectly as ‘Aubrey’ more than once. The sleeper character, the forgotten underdog, the outsider. She was always around, but often forgotten, blending into various votes against good players making louder mistakes. Aubry was a well-known mastermind, but there was always a bigger fish: Ozzy, Cirie, Christian, Dee, even Coach.

Finding an instant favorite among the 23 non-Mike White players was a challenge. When Mike White was blindsided in episode 4 by the other former fan favorite—and former friend—Christian Hubicki, the pickings for favorite player were slim. Christian’s choice to keep Emily and eliminate Mike traumatized Nora. Christianfell on his own sword. She then became sympathetic to Charlie, and so did I. In a field crowded with 24 players, not all of whom get equal screentime. Christian, Ozzy, Cirie, Rick and Emily stole the show’s first three episodes by going to every tribal council and made it difficult to see the intentions of other lesser-known players.

Charlie demonstrated a righteous anger towards Rizo, and we were able to attach ourselves to the classy Brahman and Harvard educated Bostonian against the Albanian theater kid. Rizo unknowingly triggered Charlie’s PTSD, which caused him to act sloppily and hastily, setting off Rizo’s alarms. Charlie was eliminated in the fifth episode by Rizo’s cadre of “strong, independent women.” Nora was furious and refused to watch Survivor again. I remained devoted.

Survivor is not a moral game. Playing with integrity does not guarantee respect. (More on Joe later.) Charlie was righteously angry with Rizo’s remarks (about voting for someone who wasn’t his number one ally at final tribal council) and triggered his PTSD. (Every returning player claims they had PTSD from their previous demise; Survivor is war.) Charlie’s PTSD caused him to act sloppily and lose focus. If feelings get in the way of strategy, mistakes will be made. Cirie, the best player to never win, always kept her cool.

When I saw Rizo’s power of persuasion at work with the girls, I identified him as a strong contender to win. Once he allied with Cirie and Ozzy, I was sure he would make it to the final three. However, I identified three players with the most potential to see Rizo as a kingpin and outwit him: Chrissy, Genevieve, and Aubry.

Aubry was one of the quieter players suffering from PTSD when she lost her first tribal council to the beauty queen Michelle, back in 2016. Pre-merge, Aubrey played on the margins and was immediately noticeable as an outsider by her original Vatu tribe. Colby and Stephanie took leadership, their relationship pre-established from a shared season 16 years ago, and together they took immediate liking to Kyle and Genevieve. Aubry never got along with Stephanie, or anyone on that first tribe, and rightfully didn’t overcommit—the tribes were swapped early on.

Due to the crowded field, the Genevieve/Aubry rivalry was only an occasional storyline before the tribes swapped. Genevieve made a poor first impression and never recovered. Battle lines were drawn, and Genevieve went to war against Aubry, claiming that Aubry was too quiet and probably had a hidden immunity idol. She led the tribe in an invasion of Aubry’s bag while she was out taking a walk one day, but they did not discover an idol. They felt dirty and sorry for violating her personal belongings. Ironically, and deservedly, Aubry was given a hidden immunity idol by Christan later in that episode.

At the merge, continuing her rivalry, Genevieve spread the word that Aubry had an immunity idol, forcing her to admit it publicly. Hers was the only openly known immunity idol; Ozzy and Rizo’s were still a secret, as was Cirie’s extra vote advantage.

I didn’t like that these two power players capable of collaborating to eliminate Rizo were instead cancelling each other out. Rizo lurked as a kingpin in hiding.

Aubry didn’t go to tribal council until after the merge when the tribes were randomly divided into three groups of five for immunity challenge/tribal council. Genevieve had the worst luck and was placed on a tribe with Aubry, Rick, Christian and Joe, her worst nightmare. Christian won immunity, Aubry had an idol and Rick was allied with Christian. Had Genevieve been nicer to Aubry earlier, she could have wriggled out of that one; Aubry and Genevieve could have colluded with Joe to blindside Rick. But pitiful Genevieve, the corporate lawyer, didn’t even bother to try and negotiate with Aubry on her last day. Aubrey would have been a brick wall refusing to collaborate, and embarrassed Genevieve. Aubry told Rick and Christian that she would play her immunity idol to flush it out if they voted for Genevieve. They unanimously voted for Genevieve, but Aubry didn’t play her idol. When interrogated by Christian and Rick about her move, she told them she “forgot” hoping to get more use out of it.

Rick and Christian were not dumb and were not happy. Cirie put pressure on Aubry to play her idol at the next tribal council to right her wrongs. Aubry was not the a target at the next tribal council, she played it anyway to remove her “scarlet letter.” I appreciated the reference. Dee was targeted by everyone, led by Coach’s obnoxious demands, and was eliminated decisively by everyone, including her former ally Rizo.

The next episode, Aubry paired herself with Rick for the immunity challenge where the losing team would be voted out as a pair. Joe and Tiff won and formed a bond over spaghetti as the season’s challenge beasts. Aubry knew then that she was marked to be voted out, and teared up in a confessional, regretfully bowing to the pressure of the group and giving up her immunity idol which could have saved her and Rick’s life.

But then Cirie came back from Exile Island and singlehandedly changed the vote from Aubry and Rick to Coach and Chrissy. Jonathan went nuts. Cirie saw Coach as annoying and Chrissy as a mastermind. Rizo, Ozzy, Joe and Tiffany followed her lead.

I didn’t like this development; Cirie was gaining power and killing off yet another player who could eliminate Rizo. Chrissy even mentioned Rizo as a potential target to Cirie. Cirie and Rizo’s alliance was so secretive, nobody knew about it.

I liked Chrissy more than Aubry at this point because she helped Jonathan blindside Kamilla, payback for eliminating Charlie. However, she made two mistakes: telling Cirie that Rizo was a threat and should be eliminated and pairing up with the annoying and unlikable Coach as an ally, and fatally, as a pair for the paired elimination. Coach sank with Chrissy on board.

Aubry shared past season appearance with Rick but refused to be grouped publicly with his day one alliance of Emily and Christian. After Rick’s antics of finding the fake immunity idol he planted at tribal council, which confused, frustrated and angered the slower players, Aubry distanced herself publicly from Rick. She would not sink with him the way Chrissy sank with Coach. Christian was voted out the next week, then Emily two weeks later, and finally Rick, who was isolated and alienated, surrounded by enemies and without any of his friends. Aubry would never suffer this way, because she was not counted as one of these “middle people” to be eliminated.

From here, Aubry hid behind players with more legendary statuses: Ozzy and Cirie. Aubry was a giant standing in their shadows. Oblivious Ozzy had no idea that he was a target and was backstabbed by Rizo with Jonathan, Tiff and Aubry’s blessing. Cirie was the next to be eliminated, led by Rizo. It could have been Aubry, but Rizo saw Cirie as more of a threat to win if she made it to final tribal council.

By her design, Aubry was the only old era player left with the clearest path to victory. The other four remaining players (Joe, Jonathan, Rizo and Tiffany) had a steeper path to victory; they were ‘new era’ players vying for legendary status. A jury would sympathize more with a veteran than with newbie.

To reach the final three, Aubry was surrounded by enemies and needed to perfectly thread the needle. She first needed to make Tiff seem like a bigger threat. In a way, she was: she won three individual immunity challenges this season and was one puzzle piece away from beating Jonathan at the last one, despite Jonathan pausing for a vomit break.

After her loss, Tiff knew she was the next to be eliminated, especially since everyone saw her as having a story better than Aubry’s. Aubry promoted this theory. Rizo and Jonathan agreed. Rizo could not be convinced otherwise.

Tiff also grew on me. She was loud and angry after the tribal councils when her friends were eliminated, which made her seem unhinged and unstable. I thought she wasn’t long for this game with Dee and Kamilla gone. But then she found Cirie, and I began to take notice of her.

Tiff played her own game, even as an ally with Cirie. Notably, she wanted to elminate Ozzy and Rizo, Cirie’s number one and number two, respectively. Tiff became a contender. In the final three against Jonathan or Rizo, she could have won the entire game.

The reason they chose Tiff over Aubry was because Tiff won immunity challenges. If she won the next challenge, whatever it was, she had the best chance of winning the entire game. Cirie and Ozzy would certainly vote for Tiff over Rizo, as would Rick, Emily and Christian.

Rizo and Jonathan were never allies; Jonathan voted for Rizo in their first tribal council together. But Jonathan and Rizo needed to collaborate to get rid of Tiff and Aubry. They’d have a better shot against one another than either Aubry or Tiff. They were right, but they did it in the wrong order.

Being that Tiff won three immunity challenges, and came close to winning a fourth, it was likely that she would win another. She kicked and screamed and tried to turn the vote on Aubry but failed and was voted out. Aubry hadn’t won any immunity challenges all season. She hadn’t won an immunity challenge in two seasons, and it was unlikely that she would win another.

But the final immunity challenge was the simmotion. After winning the challenge, Aubry cried from happiness. I love seeing anyone cry from happiness on Survivor, but Aubry’s tears were the sweetest. She admitted that she bought a simmotion from etsy and practiced it in her backyard after seeing it recur on a few different seasons. Very smart.

Aubry decided to take Joe to the final three with her, and pit Jonathan and Rizo against one another for the fire challenge. Rizo cried when he couldn’t make fire. He had 25 days to work on fire and didn’t. Joe took pity on Rizo, and in a heartwarming moment taught him how to make fire, like a dad teaching his son how to shave.

During the live reunion, Jeff accidentally revealed the results of the fire making challenge before it aired when he brought Rizo out onto the stage to interview him and asked him to take his place in the jury.

The crowd let out an awkward groan, Jeff kept his dimpled smile, said he didn’t know what was going on, and then they cut to commercial. Someone screwed up the run of show, and Jeff was left holding the bag. He admitted the mistake, and even joked about it later in the episode, saying that it was a twist to “peer into the future.” It was all good fun. I love live TV. Jeff did not give the winner away, although he asked the audience if they wanted him to.

Rizo displayed dangerous levels of rhetoric and persuasion at the fire making challenge. Jonathan sounded like Paul Bunyon to Rizo’s Gordan Gekko. Jonathan knows how to shout and intimidate Rizo though, and he easily won fire making, pitting her as the clear winner against Jonathan and Joe.

On the last day, Jonathan’s brother, Aubry’s mother and Joe’s tall wife visited them on the island for brunch. Jonathan’s brother wore an odd outfit; he looked like he was cosplaying as Super Mario. Joe said he missed his tall wife. Aubry is married, but her mother was chosen to visit. She is a momma’s girl. I didn’t see her husband at the finale either. I think he was the guy with the beard.

Joe was an NPC. He voted with the group every time. He wasn’t even a swing vote; he was a vanilla non-threat that Aubry took to the end because she knew she could beat him. Predictably, Joe received 0 votes. No one who suffered through this game would throw their vote away for a player who took no risks and lied as instructed, by better players and in lockstep with the group. Joe is a genuinely good guy who didn’t make any enemies. But being a good guy doesn’t earn respect.

Joe said that he was going to play the game differently now, after Aubry invited him to final tribal council. Joe still doesn’t understand that impressions are made before tribal council, not during. It is too late to play it differently.

Jonathan received votes from his allies: Stephanie, Coach and Chrissy, but Aubry received votes from all the players she voted against: Rizo, Cirie, Dee, Tiff, Ozzy, Christian and Rick. Emily voted for her too.

Aubry was the best player, and the jury had good taste. Aubry played a fluid and opportunistic game. She was willing to work with anybody and was an ally to everyone at some point. This was how she was able to get the votes she needed from jury members who seemed hostile when they were eliminated aka Tiff.

Now to go back and watch her heroic storyline from the very first episode.

The best player always wins.

I loved Season 50. Some fans are jaded, and hated the celebrity tie ins. Usually, I am similarly jaded. But the thrill of Survivor is still fresh to me, and celebrity tie ins didn’t change the game’s core strategy or dilute the drama. It gets new players interested.

The celebrity tie in was not as repulsive as the Magic: The Gathering Universes Beyond, a shameful cash grab. But it does get new nerds interested. I’m a purist. I will never purchase new Magic: the Gathering product.

The only way to fulfill my obsessive love for this epic show is to be on it.

I am going to continue to obsess about Survivor and write about it. (Even though no one reads about it.) But I will also write other non-Survivor related stuff in the off season.

Since Christian’s elimination, Rick has been playing a very chaotic game. And his antics have caused his alienation, and now, his borrowed time has expired.He is the only player who has no allies left in the game. So much for the floater strategy; “middle players” are always eventually squeezed out of the game when the numbers dwindle. Rick’s demise was predictable, and an appetizer for the episode’s main course: Cirie’s elimination.

On his last day, Rick knew that his only chance to survive tribal council was winning an immunity necklace or finding an immunity idol. He couldn’t sleep, and awoke early in the morning, before the sun rose, to scour the island for a hidden immunity idol. When the other players awoke and did not see him at camp, they knew what he was seeking. Jonathan caught up to Rick and trailed him, like a bodyguard, or a grim reaper. Had Rick found an idol, Jonathan would have wrestled it from him and kept it for himself.

It was funny to the others to see Rick scurrying around desperately with Jonathan the giant casting a shadow over him. After Rick didn’t find the idol, he lay in the hammock and shed a tear to his day one enemy, Joe. He didn’t want it to end like this. There is never a good way to be eliminated from Survivor. It is like preparing to die. You can be at peace when the time comes, but you will never be ready.

The immunity challenge involved stacking blocks to spell ‘immunity’ on a platform. This was a challenge Joe won in his season, and he had amazing muscle memory because he won it again, far ahead of the others. Rick’s time was officially over.

In addition to winning immunity, Joe won delicious bbq ribs. He was allowed to take two people with him. He chose Rizo and Cirie for “strategy.” The two best players. No brainer.

I don’t dislike Joe, but I don’t like him. His strategy is winning immunity challenges. He is not interesting to me. He is the male Stephanie, except Stephanie lies, albeit poorly. But she does try. She made a few good moves this season. Joe doesn’t ever make moves. He never lies. He has “integrity.” Yawn. He is a mannequin. Everyone plays around him, like he isn’t there. Every player wants to take him to the final tribal council because he will get 0-1 votes, increasing their odds of becoming the sole survivor.

At tribal council, Rick got a long soliloquy about the stars in Fiji shining for you and all the things that you do, or something like that. It was a demise edit. He played his shot in the dark and was NOT SAFE and everyone voted against him.

Rick, Emily and Christian are an example of why day one alliances no longer work as a strategy, especially if they are publicly acknowledged. “Day One” alliances do not flow with the social game state, and the players are rigid in their alliance and very stubborn to opportunity. Day one alliances are impenetrable to outsiders, and therefore alienating. Without support of players outside the alliance, they crumble.

Rizo said he would play his immunity idol, but didn’t. He didn’t need to play it. This enraged Tiffany. Cirie is unconcerned. She wants to go to final tribal with Rizo because she knows she will win. Rizo debriefs Cirie about his vote for Ozzy and calls Ozzy a “sinking ship,” after he stupidly volunteered his gameplan for reaching final tribal council to Aubry. Cirie listened and agreed. She even spit on Ozzy’s grave.

Cirie could protect Ozzy from numerous enemies over the course of the season, but she couldn’t protect him from himself. Nor could she protect herself from Rizo….

When talking about Ozzy in the past tense, Jonathan wrongly refers to him as a “kingpin.” Jonathan is laughably delusional. Ozzy was a lightning rod, protected by Cirie. Rizo is the real kingpin and will successfully eliminate Jonathan.

Tiffany, on the other hand, is making moves against Rizo. She does not like that he still has an immunity idol. She needs to blindside him, or at the very least, force him to play it. Historically, anyone who tried to eliminate Rizo by telling Cirie was promptly eliminated; but Tiffany and Cirie are allies because they are black girls from New Jersey. Therefore, she is the only one who can take a shot at Rizo, miss, and survive. When she misses, she fatally hits Cirie with friendly fire.

At the immunity challenge, Tiffany staged a comeback on the arched block puzzle, spelling #inconceivable. Joe and Jonathan reached the final puzzle first and teamed up to solve it, but they are bulky not brainy. Aubry joined in their scramble and it cost her concentration and time to solve it herself. Amid the pressure, Tiffany locked in, found her rhythm, and finished first, winning immunity. Aubry was angry with herself for looking at other players’ puzzles instead of trying to figure it out for herself. She shed tears, knowing that she could be voted out next.

Cirie was also visibly upset. Tiffany was the target. Now that she has won immunity, Cirie is now the target.

Cirie knows that she is the most qualified to win, and that by making it to final tribal council against anyone remaining, she will get the votes because of her legendary status. Everyone, including Rizo, understands this fact.

But Cirie is legendary for a reason. Cirie tries to influence Jonathan to vote for Aubry. She tries to sway Joe to vote for Aubry, while Rizo and Aubry are both colluding to eliminate Cirie. Rizo plays like a snake. He will be very hard to beat.

Jonathan tells Rizo that Aubry is a snake, and Rizo tells him to calm down, trust the plan and vote for Cirie. Despite her best efforts, she is eliminated.

Tiffany could have given her immunity idol to Cirie, but would then be voted out instead.

Legendary players returning to play are never going to win. The reason Boston Rob won was because the producer’s designed a season for him to win. Cirie won’t get the same treatment, but she also wouldn’t want it. I’ll vote for her to get the $100k from Sia.

Season Finale Predictions

Power Rankings:

1. Aubry

2. Rizo

3. Jonathan/Tiffany

4. Joe

Aubry has the best path to victory of anyone left in the game. She is the only player not from the new era, and will get votes from most of the jury, regardless of who she goes to final tribal council with.

However, she is the next in line to be voted out because of her Cirie-like status. Aubry has played Survivor four times. Everyone else has only played twice. This will be a huge consideration for the jury. Even newer players will vote for Aubry, out of respect.

Therefore, for Aubry to become sole survivor, she will need to win immunity, or she will need Joe to win immunity. If he does, Tiffany will be the next to go; Aubry will convince Jonathan that Tiffany wins at final tribal council. Rizo agrees. Tiffany is a challenge beast, and could win immunity at the final four, making her path to victory ensured.

If Tiffany wins immunity, Aubry will need to convince her to eliminate Rizo. Not much convincing is needed, but Rizo has an immunity idol, and will play it. Aubry can’t convince Joe to vote for Jonathan, which would be dangerous; Joe would tell Jonathan, and Jonathan would join with Rizo to vote for Aubry. If Tiffany has immunity, Aubry might be able to convince Tiffany to give her the idol, and they could blindside Jonathan.

If Aubry is eliminated, Tiffany must win the immunity challenge again, beating Joe and Jonathan. Near impossible. Her game has improved, and she did not burn jury votes in the same way Rizo or Jonathan did. She would get votes from Cirie, Ozzy, Dee, Stephanie certainly. She was more likable than Jonathan and Rizo. No one considers Joe a contender, his only potential vote is from Coach.

Rizo has a clearer path to final tribal council over Tiffany. He plays his immunity idol, making it to the final four. Aubry and Jonathan both want to take him to final tribal because he doesn’t have a reputation or respect from the jury; he has rizz, but he is a mystery. Aubry vs Jonathan, Jonathan wins. Joe votes with Jonathan against Aubry. Rizo thinks he has a better chance of beating Jonathan than Aubry.

Rizo didn’t overplay his hidden idol this season like he did last season, and would beat Jonathan because he was more obnoxious in confessionals than he was on the island.

Jonathan-Chrissy

Rizo- Cirie, Dee, Rick, Christian, Aubry, Tiffany, Stephanie, Emily

Joe-Coach, Ozzy

The most thrilling final three will be Tiffany, Aubry and Joe. It’s close, but I think Aubry still wins.

I like Aubry the best. I want her to win. She is getting the hero’s edit. She’d better win.

I’ll be exonerated if Rizo wins. I’ll be disappointed if Jonathan wins. I’ll be devastated if Joe wins. I’ll be indifferent if Tiffany wins.

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Poor clueless, Ozzy. He thought that he was destined to win it all because this time he was playing as Oscar, not as Ozzy. This time, his fourth time playing, he learned from his past mistakes. Not so easy; the Ozzy persona is difficult to escape. He was cast as Ozzy. Ozzy is his name in the opening credits. Everyone referred to him throughout the game as Ozzy. Ozzy didn’t know that he could only play the game by himself. He can only think like Ozzy thinks. And without Cirie to help him, which she tried to do, for her own benefit—he can only lose like Ozzy.

As David Foster Wallace put it: “We always end up becoming exactly who we are.”

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Survivor might be a hero’s journey, but to win, the hero must become villainous. Might is right and it is not very nice.

This week, it was Stephanie’s turn to become villainous, which she did out of desperation to save face, and not very well.

The female hero counterpart to Colby, Stephanie was the other archetypal old school player. She is an active provider, immunity challenge winner, and generally honest. Therefore, it is not cute when she larps as a villain and lies; it is cringe. Her tells are like nervous tics, but the only person who can tell she is lying is the most powerful player in the game: Cirie. In private, Cirie tells Stephanie she knows when she is lying, and Stephanie admits it. She is a good guy, a boring hero. She is too honest to be a competent villain.

At the first Survivor auction since Survivor 45, each player was given $500 to spend on junk food. For instance, Emily won a chocolate milkshake for $150. Any funds remaining could be pocketed for when they return to real life where milkshakes will still cost $150. Cirie won charcuterie and ate so much so fast that she puked. Then she returned from vomiting and ate more charcuterie. Just once in my life, I’d like to experience hunger like that. Aubry won mac and cheese and was tearfully reminded of her toddler, then Joe agrees and says “my kids are who I am.” Then all the players paid $20 for letters from home and most of them cried.

Then, Jeff introduced Mr. Beast, who appeared from behind some bushes. Rizo is the generation who grew up with Mr. Beast, and he stands up to greet him. Cirie didn’t know who Mr. Beast was. I’m halfway between Rizo and Cirie; I have been aware of Mr. Beast since he counted to 100,000 in 2013, when Rizo was 13 years old, and I was starting to become too old to care about what was happening on the internet. Then, Mr. Beast was the guy who gave a new home to a pizza delivery guy, and then he was the guy who made a fast-food restaurant, and then he was the guy whose best friend became trans and a pedophile, I think. Mr. Beast grew up watching Survivor because he has a game show now, I think. I don’t know because I am not his target audience.

Mr. Beast was unusually quiet. Jeff did most of the talking while Mr. Beast rubbing his hands together like a perfidious Jew. His presence and suspicious impact on the game was making the players writhe with uneasy anticipation. Jeff introduced Mr. Beast’s “Beware Advantage,” which was to be revealed that night at Tribal Council, after a surprise immunity challenge with stomachs full on the other side of some bushes.

At the challenge, players must balance a ball on a bow and stand on a tilted balance beam. They will move down the beam every few minutes of resetting the ball. If the ball falls off the bow, or the player falls off the platform, then they are eliminated.

Emily and Rick need to win because they are disliked by Ozzy and Joe and in a minority. Emily loses early, but not as early as Stephanie, who surprisingly loses before Rizo and Cirie. Tiffany, Joe and Ozzy are the final three standing, which has become a pattern. Tiffany wins over Ozzy and cries tears of joy. It is Day 19, and she was eliminated on Day 19, the last time she played. Ozzy is still chasing Boston Rob for most immunity idol challenges won, which is worth more to him than the actual immunity necklace, since he has a hidden immunity idol.

These three are dominating the immunity challenges, but only Ozzy has a hidden immunity idol and is allied with Cirie. He can lose a challenge and still get into final three. Tiffany and Joe are not as well connected, but their continued winning could place them into a final three and force Rizo and Cirie to vote against one another.

Nonetheless, after Tiffany wins immunity Rick is the easiest choice to eliminate because he is in a dying minority, but he is also very easy to eliminate because he is so annoying now. He bragged about finding an immunity idol that everyone but Joe and Jonathan knew was a fake and then told everyone it was a fake to clear his name. Really, it just put the target on his friend, Christian. Rick’s demise can be delayed by those pulling the strings in favor of blindsiding someone more powerful. But who? No one can agree, especially with this Mr. Beast Beware Advantage twist looming, which could explode everyone’s plans, and probably why no one has a plan.

After eating a boiled sea slug for Ozzy to enjoy microwavable buffalo wings at the auction, Jonathan decides that Ozzy needs to be eliminated. Stephanie says it should be Rizo. Rick says it should Rizo. Rizo’s name cursed. Anyone who utters it is voted out. Jonathan also has an unlikely alliance with Tiffany by way of Aubry, but they also can’t agree on who to put their votes on. Jonathan tells Joe that they are thinking of voting for Ozzy because they are allied. But Joe tells Cirie. Joe is the second biggest guy in this game behind Jonathan, and his villainous form is a tattle tale. Cirie is the godmother who will probably win this game. Cirie must protect Ozzy again and considers using her extra vote to do so. Cirie is going to get tired of protecting Ozzy and let him get eaten by Jonathan.

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In a very out of character move, Stephanie tells Cirie that she and Jonathan are thinking of voting for Rick or Emily. Cirie knows that Stephanie walked over to her side or camp just to lie to her; her secret flunkie Joe has already told her of their plan to vote for Ozzy! Stephanie knows, or plumb forgot, that Cirie can tell when she is lying because she nervously touches her face and cannot look Cirie in the eye. Maybe Stephanie also forgot that Cirie knew about Steohanie’s extra vote. Even when stranded on an island for a reality TV game show, the only place where lying is not sinful but permissible, she does it poorly. She has too much integrity; it makes her nervous.

At tribal council, and before Mr. Beast reveals his mystery beware advantage, Rick annihilates Stephanie and Jonathan by telling everyone that they wanted to eliminate Ozzy. Jonathan’s eyes go wide with rage and disbelief. Stephanie tried to defend herself by lying poorly. I left the room until it was over. Rizo says (paraphrase) ‘no offense to Stephanie but just own your lies! It looks better to admit it at tribal than to double down.’ Very true. When caught in a lie it shows greater character to admit it, than to lie so much you believe it into delusion.

Then Mr. Beast finally comes out, and over the course of a few commercial breaks, he reveals that his beware advantage is a golden coin that a player must flip. If the player wins the flip, they have immunity, and the prize pool increases to $2 million. If they lose the flip, their torch is snuffed. And then I think they still have a tribal council after that, I don’t know.

Rick volunteers to flip the coin. He has nothing to lose and wants to go down swinging. No one else wants to flip the coin. Aubry doesn’t want Rick to flip it but doesn’t want to flip it herself. She is the only player left who can position herself to beat Cirie. Jeff and Mr. Beast are a little disappointed that there isn’t a verbal fight for the flip, but they are just chaos designers and cannot predict a player’s actions or heart the way God can. If Rick loses the flip, he will go out with a whimper but can always say that he was never voted out of Survivor.

Rick wins the flip. Everything and nothing changes. Jeff allows a lengthy scramble, and Steohanie tells Jonathan she is going to use her ‘steal-a-vote’. Jonathan doesn’t seem to care, he knows what is about to happen, and he knows that he will be complicit. Stephanie announces her advantage, decides to steal Rick’s vote and casts two votes for Aubry. I don’t think those girls said two words to each other for the entire game. Stephanie voted out unanimously.

Another landslide. Even Joe and Jonathan vote for Stephanie, something that was unconscionable before Rick won the flip. Jonathan is all alone, but he won’t be eliminated before Rick or Joe. He will team up with Aubry and Tiffany, but will they kill the right pig, go for a weakling? And will they do it without information getting back to Cirie?

Power Rankings:

1. Cirie

2. Rizo

3. Aubry

4. Jonathan

5. Ozzy

6. Tiffany

7. Rick

8. Emily

9. Joe

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Christian is a likable, lovable, loquacious nerd. He can speak eloquently and theatrically, and he is so effectively communicating using his elevated vocabulary that when he is serious, he gets laughs. (I can relate.) Jeff refers to him by his last name, Hubicki, an honor he reserves for only his favorite players. But this likable loquaciousness leads to a certain goofiness, and then a lack of respect by other players. Or maybe, he gets mad respect. His name is top tier. That’s not true. Rizo’s name is never mentioned, and he is top tier.

Social gamers pretend to be best friends with everyone, while being best friends with no one. They are empty vessels, usually entrepreneurs or salespeople. Christian does not play a social game. He does not put on a shit eating grin and become besties with every player, like Dee, or Ethan from Survivor Africa. In many ways, he is a teacher’s pet and fan favorite; a poor strategy—the people who like him most can’t help him win. His enemies view his likability and his persona as a successful science communicator and family man as a threat. A guy like Christian can sneak his way into the final three and get sympathy votes.

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Ozzy may be best friends with Cirie and Rizo, but he is friends with everyone. When the season was cast, Ozzy was selected to receive this season’s hero’s arc. His Survivor career began twenty years ago, when he became known to dominate immunity challenges and provide fish for his tribe. Ozzy was never a keen strategist, however, and was usually voted out shortly after the merge. This time, he has learned from his past mistakes and is playing for real. In the first episode, he chose to play the long game, and chose an immunity idol for himself instead of a dutch oven for his tribe. A smart move, since that tribe was swapped two days later, and no one would have remembered or cared about Ozzy’s generosity or kept him around because of it. The game is too short and cutthroat to keep someone around who provides food. Winning means going hungry or waiting to eat at challenge rewards.

Ozzy earned an embarrassment of riches early on: an immunity idol and an extra vote. He had so much power that he gave an extra vote to Cirie as a token of trust and insurance that they would “make it to the end together.” Cirie told Rizo about her extra vote, and Ozzy told Rizo about his immunity idol. These three are locked in, and are protected with power.

Last week, in an ice-cold decision, Rizo decided to vote for Dee because she betrayed them by telling Emily about his idol. Cirie completely agreed. Jonathan, Chrissy, and Coach voted for Dee because she won Survivor 45 and because she is good at immunity challenges.

Christian, Rick and Emily had no personal vendetta against Dee. They voted her out because everyone else wanted her gone. If they vote the way the other factions vote, they will be left alone in the middle. Because of this, Rizo calls them “floaters,” and thinks that they “have control.”

The “floaters” were indifferent to Dee but voted for her as a way to hide their existence and their indifference. The way Coach commanded the “middle people” (floaters) how to split the vote bothered Rick, a middle person. Rick considered mounting a last-minute mutiny against Coach, but got cold feet at the last moment. The floaters are not haymakers. The “floaters” hold some sway, though not enough to change the vote from Dee to Coach, as much as Coach is tiresome and annoying to everyone.

Emily, Christian and Rick aren’t “floating.” They are their own voting block in the middle, between the other factions. It is only a matter of time before they are squeezed.

For now, the pressure is off the floaters in the middle; Coach is on the chopping block and knows it. He also doesn’t seem to care. Coach is not playing to win; he is playing to have fun. And he has fun annoying everyone, much to Chrissy’s displeasure.

Why Chrissy?

This episode had another twist: players had to pair up for an immunity challenge and would be voted out as a pair. This was revealed after players chose pairs like they were walking on eggshells.

There was an odd number, so one person would be left out of the pairing. Both Chrissy and Cirie did not want to pair up because they were wary of the potential consequences. The Survivor gods chose Cirie at random to go to Exile Island instead of pairing up and participating in the challenge. Chrissy does not have Cirie-level of luck. Despite the wind and the bugs, Exile Island is always a good place to visit. Being exiled is winning immunity without actually winning immunity.

Once on Exile Island, Cirie was met with a challenge of her own: to locate a coconut among thousands with a phoenix sticker on it. She had to do it within a certain amount of time, but it was too much time because she didn’t lose any eyelashes in the process; she was sweaty and complained about being sweaty, and sat down a lot and was out of breath. The reward for finding the phoenix was being immune at tribal council and casting a vote. Hug reward for such an easy challenge.

The reward did not match the ease of the challenge. The secret, most powerful alliance of Cirie, Rizo and Ozzy has been given yet another advantage. Boring. I think the producers choose easy challenges for players they have chosen to have a hero arc.

How different would the game have been had Chrissy been chosen at random to be exiled and gone to tribal to cast a vote?

But Chrissy chose poorly, and was paired with Coach. An odd choice given that, unlike Coach, Chrissy is playing to win, and she knows the camp’s general approval rating of Coach is very low. Chrissy should be trying to distance herself from Coach, instead of communicating through him.

The challenge was divided into 2 rounds, and the first three teams to finish the first round would play for immunity (and spaghetti) in the second round.

The pairs:

Jonathan + Christian (odd pairing)

Chrissy + Coach (allied, no secret)

Aubry + Rick (secret/open/fake/soft alliance)

Rizo + Emily (very odd pairing)

Ozzy + Stephanie (secret alliance)

Joe + Tiffany (underdog odd pair)

Aubry + Rick, Joe + Tiffany, and Ozzy + Stephanie won the first round and competed for immunity, but Tiffany + Joe, the two underdogs, won. Tiffany and Joe are the true “floaters” but don’t have any power or sway, until now.

On their spaghetti and wine date, Joe admitted to Tiffany that he voted for her last week. He apologized and was forgiven when he said he was told to vote for either Tiffany or Dee by his ally, Coach. They shook hands and made a new alliance, but Joe made it clear to Tiffany that he was never going to write down Coach’s name, while Tiffany made it clear that she would write down Coach’s name at every tribal council until he was gone.

Back at camp, Chrissy was panicking. She would gladly have voted for Coach today if they were not tethered, but instead could only tell him to lay low, and not talk to anyone. Not before she told him to try and make up with Tiffany by lying, and telling her that he was not the one responsible for the votes she received at last tribal council. Coach totally botched it.

Tiffany and Coach sat together on a log on the beach, and when Tiffany asked Coach who gave the orders, if not him, he blanked. Coach cannot think on his feet. Tiffany asked Coach a again: “If it wasn’t you who gave the order, who was it?” He didn’t give an answer. The only thing worse would have been to say it was Chrissy.

Coach walked away from that log meeting deeper in the hole than when he entered. Chrissy never got along with Tiffany, but she would have fared much better.

The talk for voting at camp was between the “floaters” Rick and Aubry, and Coach and Chrissy. Each player in a pair could vote their own way, but they had to vote for a pair.

Stephanie + Ozzy were going to vote for Aubry + Rick. Rizo + Emily were going to vote for Aubry + Rick. Joe told Tiffany he would not vote for Coach on principle. Jonathan + Christian were split; Jonathan was voting for Rick + Aubry, and Christian would vote for Chrissy + Coach.

Then Cirie came back to the beach with the vote she won from that silly phoenix game, and everything changed. She told Ozzy to vote for Chrissy + Coach. Chrissy is cunning; Coach is annoying. A no brainer! (Ozzy is helpless without her.)

Chrissy, however, can see what others cannot: Rizo is a huge threat. She knows that Rizo has an idol, and that he had an idol during his own season that he never played.

Rizo’s power level is a secret to everyone except for his alliance of Ozzy + Cirie, and to his chagrin, Emily. (Remember, Emily got Dee killed because she told Rizo she knew about his immunity idol; Rizo kills rats.)

Cirie’s relationship with Rizo is such a secret that while laying in the hammock, Chrissy told Cirie that Rizo is a threat and should be voted out. Chrissy is sniffing around Rizo, where she doesn’t belong and she has no idea that Cirie and Rizo are “locked in!” Cirie does not waste time and tells Rizo of Chrissy’s suggestion. Rizo gets mad that Chrissy mentioned his name, and decides to vote for her instead of Rick and Aubry. But Rizo should be proud! Chrissy has good taste in enemies.

At tribal council, Joe drones on about how life at the firehouse is like playing Survivor and then the camera pans to Rick zoning out, panicking as he tries to think of a way out of this predicament. He sees the fake idol that he placed at tribal council in the second episode, pulls it out, and declares that it is a hidden immunity idol.

This shakes the game up a little bit, but not as much as he thinks—Cirie’s return to the island to vote with immunity she barely earned was a much bigger game changer. It was when Cirie declared Coach and Chrissy the enemy that everyone followed.

At tribal council, Coach plays his shot in the dark, but misses; he and Chrissy are NOT SAFE and are voted out unanimously. Even by Joe! Joe has principles, except when it comes to voting for his ally, Coach!

Coach smiled and was very calm when his torch was snuffed. Chrissy was stone faced and didn’t turn around to give any heartfelt goodbyes or words of affirmation. Sniffing around Rizo was the correct instinct, but shackling herself to unlikable Coach was her downfall. Not her fault; she seems to be a victim of random rules changes that benefit producer’s favorites. I hope to see her again.

Jonathan snapped at Rick during the tribal council shenanigans. Rick is making new enemies. First Joe, then Ozzy, now Jonathan. He will become the most expendable of the “floaters.”

Jonathan is vulnerable without Coach and Chrissy, but he can lay low and let Rizo and Cirie pick off the “floaters.” Or, he can go to war with the bottom floaters, and leave Rizo and Cirie standing atop a pile of bodies at the final 5. Either way, it is up to Aubry to make a big move or else I correctly predicted the final three in week 5.

New Rankings:

S-tier: Cirie, Rizo, Ozzy

A-tier: Jonathan, Aubry

B-tier: Christian, Stephanie, Emily, Rick

C-tier: Joe, Tiffany

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THREE players eliminated at THREE tribal councils! An Applebee’s advertisement in the middle of the episode! A teary execution of a beloved fan favorite!

Dee, winner of Survivor 45, has been targeted for elimination since her game began on the Kalo tribe. Jonathan, Chrissy, Mike White, Charlie and Coach all agreed that if they ever went to tribal council, they would vote for Dee. But that group never lost an immunity challenge, so Dee was spared.

When Dee did go to tribal council, she blindsided Charlie in favor of Rizo’s “Operation Bad Blood.” Jonathan’s working relationship ended with Dee that night. Jonathan was mad, but Dee lied to him, and said she was “with him 10,000%.”

Then the tribes merged unceremoniously; one beach was invaded by two boats in a chaotic reunion of television histories and personalities, with each player’s reputation preceding them.

Genevieve immediately sought to expose Aubry by telling everyone that Aubry had a hidden immunity idol. After this chaotic reunion, a boat delivered a message: that everyone needed to search for some...thing. Not a reward; a thing.

It must be good, everyone thought, and there is nothing else to do, so everyone sprang forth searching every crevice and hole and branch and thicket except for Rizo. He doesn’t need any more advantages; he has a hidden immunity idol that no one knows about and is the center of an orbit of “strong, independent women.” He actually walks right past the thing.

Ozzy finds it, and is overjoyed. He opens it in front of his fake alliance of Christian and Rick and says, “as long as I don’t go to Exile Island again.” His face sank; Ozzy was heading back to Exile Island and could choose one person to be exiled with.

When Cirie’s vessel washed ashore at the merge, she whispered to Ozzy to get to know Rizo. So, Ozzy chose to be exiled with Rizo, the wildcard, to spend the night together without food, in the land of bugs and wind.

A filthy looking Rizo was not enthused, and looked visibly disappointed to be chosen; bags under his eyes, and his sallow skin caked in dirt. He did not want to miss the action on the mainland.

But this turned out to be another advantage. While exiled, Ozzy and Rizo each revealed that they each had a hidden immunity idol and confirmed that Cirie had an extra vote. With these advantages, they were locked into the most powerful and most impenetrable alliance in the game.

The only other person besides Cirie to know about these immunity idols was the player who gave them to them: Genevieve. But that secret would die with her....

Back on the mainland, the remaining 15 players drew rocks, and were divided into three competing groups of 5. The players needed to brace themselves between two walls using their hands and arms while standing on small footholds. The winner of each group of 5 would have immunity, and the last one standing would win Applebee’s (!!!) for their group.

Jeff gave a lengthy description of the sumptuous food, enticing the viewers and the players by describing the menu in delicious detail for five straight minutes. I did not cringe; Survivor is as on commercial television. This is not an arthouse movie, there is no integrity here and I am fine with that!

The groups were divided as follows, and the winners are bold.

#1 Stephanie, Kamilla, Chrissy, Jonathan, Tiffany

#2 Genevieve, Aubrey, Christian, Rick, Joe

#3 Coach, Colby, Dee, Cirie, Emily

Genevieve drew poorly and was randomly placed in a group with her greatest enemy, Aubry. The only way for her to stay in the game was to win immunity. It was a very precarious situation. When she lost to Christian the challenge to Christian, she had little to work with: the other members of her group—Christian and Rick—were Aubry’s soft alliance. That only left Joe, the simple and humble fireman.

As a fellow outsider in this group, Genevieve needed to sell Joe on voting for Rick. She made a good argument, and it showed her potential as a player, which went vastly unutilized this season. Even though Joe and Rick didn’t get along, Genevieve couldn’t sell Joe on the gamble. Joe doesn’t like to rock the boat and doesn’t want to make Rick an enemy for a woman about to walk the plank.

Genevieve and Aubry were too similar to be allies: smart, independent brunettes with glasses: Aubry, an aging hipster, and Genevieve, the know-it-all corporate lawyer. They had more in common than they thought and could have made a deep run together. At the very least, if Genevieve had not turned Aubry into an enemy, they could have colluded to eliminate Rick. Maybe they didn’t like how similar they were? There can only be one nerdy girl with glasses on this island! (Emily doesn’t wear glasses.)

At tribal council Genevieve gave up her vote to play her shot in the dark. She was not safe and was voted out unanimously. Aubry looked saddened to see her enemy vanquished. As Genevieve’s torch was snuffed, Aubry seemed to have no more purpose in this game. She also did not play her immunity idol, like she told Rick and Christian she would.

Group #3 was Coach, Dee, Colby, Emily and Cirie. Dee won immunity and was in control of the tribe. She and Emily were gleefully choosing between Coach and Colby like children in a candy store. Coach, with his annoying God complex and haiku speak, and Colby, the old war horse, his ankle injured from a challenge on Day 12, pushing a boat up a sandbar.

“Let’s vote Coach! Colby will be evacuated [due to his injury] tomorrow!”

Cirie sat on her throne in the hammock and rolled her eyes at their naivete and their gluttony. Coach was a fool and was not as respected as he thought. On the other hand, Colby was respected by all. A veteran of the game and a man of integrity, he also commanded an army with Stephanie on his right side. “Cut off the head of the snake, not the tail.”

Colby tended the fire for the good of the tribe and to keep busy, like an old school player and a father, and made a case to Dee to keep him around; he has friends and can take Dee under his wing. Dee considered his offer.

Much like Emily’s relationship with Angelina, Dee and Emily became fast friends, helped by their time together on Season 45. Dee became so excited that she told Emily about Rizo’s hidden immunity idol. Like Angelina and Christian, Dee put too much trust in Emily too soon. Emily plays like a fawn, but she is really a snake.

At tribal council, Colby talked about his life, and how he has lived half of his life since he first appeared on Survivor Australia (2001). Now in his 50s, Colby tearfully reflected on his life. Dee and Emily tearfully voted off a man they watched on television as children, a man they respected from afar. Coach and Cirie voted for a frenemy, a man they respected and loved, but needed to eliminate now that he was isolated and nursing an ankle injury.

There were no hard feelings. Colby told his tribe to find joy in the game. He played with joy this season. He was grateful to come back again.

The last group included Chrissy, Stephanie, Tiffany, Kamilla, and Jonathan, with Stephanie winning the immunity idol for the group. As Stephanie was the last one standing and won Applebee’s for her group.

Chrissy didn’t want to spoil their Applebee’s meal by discussing strategy. This request was respected because Chrissy was secretly in control. Jonathan ate 5 burgers.

For Kamilla and Tiffany, the vote seemed a no-brainer: Chrissy.

At the original Kalo tribe, Chrissy annoyed Kamilla, Dee and Tiffany by giving orders. If given the chance, they’d have voted for her at tribal council. (They didn’t have the numbers.) Now, they still think that they have numbers because they think that Jonathan is in their corner.

Very naive.

Kamilla blindsided Jonathan by voting with Rizo and Dee and eliminating Charlie. Jonathan did not forget it. If she had been in the same position, Tiffany would have done the same. Chrissy had Jonathan’s anger to work with and made her pitch: these girls are not voting for you to win the game at the final tribal council. “We are cut from the same cloth.” Jonathan played his part by lying to Kamilla and Tiffany.

Chrissy easily convinced the malleable Stephanie to vote for Kamilla. Stephanie likes to play nice but can also sense power in Chrissy and doesn’t want to be on the bottom later on, and decided to play with Chrissy. Chrissy is no slouch either: she is the record holder for most immunity challenges won by a woman.

Kamilla was shocked to see her name, but she shouldn’t have been. Tiffany, on the other hand was furious, but she shouldn’t have been. She should have been grateful she wasn’t sent home instead.

Chrissy, Stephanie, and Jonathan gave Tiffany her space to be mad in a loud and scary way. Jonathan was sorry, not sorry. Chrissy was not sorry. Stephanie was sorry. Stephanie genuinely likes Tiffany and wants to play nicely with everyone. That can only work for so long.

Then the other groups returned from their tribal councils, which made everything awkward. Colby was missed. Genevieve was not.

The next morning, Coach became his old self. He started the day off slowly and cluelessly, by condescending to Rizo and offering him a spot in his alliance with Jonathan and Joe, now that Colby was gone. Rizo smiled and nodded along to this buffoonery. In a confessional, Rizo was shocked at how stupid Coach was to admit that his alliance was weakening and that he needed a replacement. Ironically, Coach voted for Colby!

After finding out that Jonathan voted for Kamilla, one of her allies, Dee and Jonathan agreed to debrief in private. But it escalated over Coach, who laid in the hammock. Jonathan accused Dee of lying to him at Charlie’s blindside and Dee lied. Dee and Jonathan went from lying to each other about being “with you 10,000%” to being openly hostile.

Too cool to engage, Coach lay there and said, “that’s not how I play Survivor.” Coach likes to think that he plays with integrity and honor, and that he is above lying. But Coach Wade is not Colby Donaldson.

Coach “drew a line in the sand” and wanted to eliminate Dee for lying to Jonathan. This is hypocritical coming from Coach, who is also a known liar. Eliminate Dee because she is a good player with a great social game, not because she doubles down on her lies.

Meanwhile, for all of Dee’s criticizing Charlie’s game as “sloppy,” she is also running a sloppy game when she told Emily about Rizo’s boomerang immunity idol; a secret that was supposed to die with Genevieve and remain in the alliance. Sitting at home, we have seen Emily’s loose lips in action when she betrayed Christian twice. She suffered no consequences because Christian likes her attention: the only people to suffer the consequences were the too-wise-for-his-own-good Mike White and the useless Angelina. Now, Emily puts a target on her new friend Dee’s back by agitating the most conniving and powerful player in the game: Rizo.

While talking to Cirie in private, Emily approached their conversation from down the beach and, to ingratiate herself with the cool kids and be invited into their exclusive club, she told Rizo she knew about his idol.

Rizo looked at the innocent and clueless Emily with pure venom. This girl, who he has never spoken to, knows his secret. A secret that only Dee, Cirie, Ozzy and Genevieve (RIP) know. If she knows it means she was told by someone else who knew. And that person cannot be trusted. Whether Emily betrayed Dee on purpose or by accident is what makes Survivor great. The other part that makes it great is how quickly alliances can shift.

Rizo spoke with Cirie and told her he didn’t trust Dee anymore and that he was willing to let her go. Cirie agreed. When Rizo asked Dee how Emily knew about his idol, Dee doubled down on her lie. Rizo was unconvinced. The damage was done, and Rizo marked Dee for death. Dee knew that the mistake was telling Emily, and that mistake could cost her $1,000,000.

Now, Coach and Jonathan and Rizo and Cirie were going for Dee.

A random mini game was presented to the players by boat. By now, players know that these games come with a price: castration. (Losing the ability to cast a vote.) But the rewards are high: power. (Some kind of advantage.) No one volunteered, so Stephanie was chosen at random.

Stephanie had to endure balancing on a perch while holding up one hand without letting the bowl of water above her head spill. She held it for an hour and thought about how she dislocated her arm in 2010 during the premiere challenge of Survivor Heroes vs Villains, and how her right arm was never the same after that. So, she used her left hand and won the challenge, earning a Steal-a-Vote advantage.

When she got back to camp, she tried lying but failed to convince Cirie. Cirie knew Stephanie’s tells and approached her at the well. Stephanie melted like butter and told Cirie everything. Cirie smiled and said she wouldn’t tell anyone else. The next shot cut to Cirie telling Rizo.

I will make my prediction again: unless other players notice this alliance and disrupt it, the final three will be Ozzy, Rizo, Cirie.

At the immunity challenge, the players were divided into two groups drafted by captains in a schoolyard setting. The winning team would get Chinese takeout flown from Australia, and have the opportunity to compete for individual immunity.

Joe, Stephanie, Emily, Ozzy, Dee, Christian and Rick won Chinese takeout, and Ozzy won the endurance immunity challenge.

While they gorged on Chinese takeout, Coach entered classic Coach mode back at camp. He was domineering and speaking openly about who would vote for Dee vs. Tiffany, demanding that 7 votes go to Dee, and 4 for Tiffany in case Dee plays and wins her shot in the dark. Jonathan, Chrissy, Aubry*,* Rizo and Cirie were all in agreement, but Coach didn’t want Christian to know the “7-4” plan because Christian is “a middle person.” Coach was entertaining as a loose cannon, but also annoying Rick as a loose cannon.

Unaware of alliances and instead of keeping clean books by talking quietly to trusted people, Coach went blabbing brashly in front of “middle people” like Rick and Emily, who then took it to Christian, the person Coach did not want to know about his plan. Rick thought about going off plan and voting for Coach instead. He polled Emily and Christian, who agreed, and then went to Tiffany and Dee, who also agreed.

This is especially ironic, since Coach told Chrissy that, at the old Vatu camp, she was targeted by Tiffany and Dee for being annoying.

When the plot to overthrow Coach reached him, Coach became a loose cannon again and couldn’t corral everyone to trust him and stay on plan. Stephanie, having agreed to vote for Tiffany, said she wouldn’t do it, because she liked Tiffany, and couldn’t face her at camp.

Rizo, acting like a wise older brother to Coach, took Coach aside and, with the power of a soft-spoken mob boss, told Coach, the self-proclaimed “Dragonslayer,” “we slay dragons at tribal council, not at base camp.” Coach humbled himself before the political giant of Rizo.

With Coach’s ego subdued, he lay back in his hammock, writing haikus aloud and congratulating himself, proud of his own creativity.

From the other side of the bench at Tribal Council, Jonathan’s voice boomed a warning over to Dee: “people that think they are safe are not.” Dee played her shot in the dark, but not before whispering to Rizo and Aubry in a last-ditch effort “to vote for Coach. I have the numbers.” Both Aubry and Rizo nodded but voted for Dee. Tribal council is not the place for last-ditch efforts. Dee was a winner, and it was now her time to lose. Coach smirked.

Had Dee voted out Coach instead of Colby, she may have been spared Jonathan’s wrath.

On the other hand, Jonathan has waged a successful campaign to avenge his friend Charlie. With two down, he still has the biggest one left to go: King Rizo. He best not miss. With Coach as a shield in case things go awry, and Chrissy as the brains to work with “middle people,” is it victory or defeat that waits in the dark?

Player rankings:

S tier: Rizo, Cirie, Ozzy

A tier: Chrissy, Aubry, Jonathan

B tier: Stephanie, Rick, Christian, Emily, Joe

Chopping block: Coach, Tiffany

I predicted the Seahawks would win the Superbowl in Week 16 when they beat the Rams in OT after trailing by 16 points in the fourth quarter because I know greatness when I see it. So, with the same confidence, I am going to predict Rizo winning Survivor 50.

This is not hopeful or happy prediction for me. I don’t like Rizo. He is a rootless international Albanian Muslim and NYC adjacent theater kid obsessed with sports, whose personality is inspired by Instagram. He works in “tech sales,” which probably translates as selling electronics on the floor at Costco. He is not athletic and never won an immunity challenge in Survivor 49. (Survivor, however, does not require athleticism anymore, if it ever did; remember, Richard Hatch won the first season.)

Rizo’s arrogance is as repulsive as his stupid self-given Zoomer nickname, “R-I-Z-G-O-D RizGodBabyLetsgo.” He has been trained to behave like all the world’s a stage, which, unfortunately, makes him appear goofy and endearing. He plays the part of goofball, donning an all red sport shorts and T-shirt in his tall skeletal frame. But Rizo is very smart and can reads the room very well. On Season 49 he found an immunity idol early on, and never had to play it—its existence was enough to frighten inept adversaries from voting for him.

Rizo is the embodiment of my pet peeves: a physically weak, cocky younger person who is also an expert with big ambitions playing for “bad blood”. He deserves to be cocky and he is, which makes him the perfect villain. I lose respect for otherwise likable female players who fall for his charms. Sadly, only the producers and viewers can see Rizo as the villain that he is.

Like me, Charlie also detected the greatness of Rizo and sought his elimination. At the Survivor 46 final tribal council, Charlie did not receive a vote in the affirmative from Maria, his strongest ally. This unnecessary backstab cost him the game and opened a wound that has not healed. Rizo made a similar confession: that he did not vote for his number one ally from Survivor 49, Sophie, and instead voted for Savannah to win.

Charlie was enraged by Rizo and took it as a personal insult. Weakened by his wrath, Charlie’s judgment was clouded. Unable to sleep one morning and obsessing over Rizo, Charlie sat on the edge of Rizo’s beached boat bed and waited for him to wake up. Charlie asked Rizo who else knew about the immunity idol. This clumsy attempt at interrogation has Rizo laughing at Charlie. Rizo then told Dee, and they both laughed at Charlie’s cluelessness. Dee told the confessional that “she once thought Charlie was a good player.”

Rizo is a natural when it comes to talking to women. All types of women. He makes them feel comfortable and gets them in his orbit. The first woman he subdued was Genevieve, who gifted him the immunity idol because she misread him, thinking he was the likeliest to be blindsided and enabling the idol to “boomerang” back to her. (A new mechanic of immunity idols this season is that they cannot be used for the player who found it.) Good or bad, Rizo made an impression on Genevieve.

He next accomplished an alliance with two of the savviest female players in the game: Dee and Cirie.

Dee, the sexy Cuban, crawled into Rizo’s hammock with him and was giggling and speaking like lovers, in sensuous and hushed whispers. They have something in common: they are both targeted: Rizo for being an unknown character, and Dee, for being a prior winner.

Next, Rizo united with Cirie while she lounged in her hammock. He sat at the foot of her hammock throne, bearing the good news of his alliance and her part in it: he is working with Dee to blindside Charlie, and he has an immunity idol. Cirie was so thrilled to work with Rizo and Dee, and felt that Rizo gave her so many gifts that she needed to reciprocate: she proposed marriage by telling him Rizo that Ozzy gave her an extra vote. They are locked in.

But to eliminate Charlie, Rizo still needed Kamilla, the likable and naïve Indian girl.

He brought her into his hammock and he flirted with her, name dropping Billie Eilish immunity idol. Kamilla gasped and blushed and, in Rizo’s hammock, the final piece of the alliance was solidified.

By the time Charlie got to Kamilla to tell her about the Billie Eillish boomerang immunity idol to get her to vote for Rizo, it was old news—Charlie didn’t tell Kamilla anything Rizo hadn’t already. Charlie’s presentation was not intimate like Rizo’s hammock deal; he stood across from Kamilla like he was giving a presentation in a board room.

Rizo is a chad. Charlie is a virgin.

That night at tribal council, Charlie was voted out.

Rizo is the sun, circled by a protective force field of different shades of “strong, independent women.”

Like St. Vincent Ferrer following the fake Pope, Devens and Jonathan also followed the wrong leader. The defeat of Charlie by Rizo is telling of a larger trend in Western Civilization: a Bostonian Irish Catholic leading his heritage American comrades (Devens and Jonathan) is defeated by a coalition of minority women lead by an Albanian Muslim who wears a veneer of American culture with his TikTok and IG mannerisms and lingo. I’d be surprised if Rizo has ever heard of Machiavelli….they don’t teach western civilization in public schools anymore…

Coach, Joe and Colby do not know Rizo’s true capabilities and assume that he is just some goofy kid. Colby initially found Rizo annoying, but then softened to Rizo’s tears for the his mom, dad and little brother he left in Yonkers. Meanwhile, Ozzy is focused on getting revenge on Christian for Mike White’s elimination. When he accomplishes this and reconnects with Cirie, he will also be ensnared by Rizo through Cirie’s devotion.

Rizo is a shape-shifting serpent with a God complex who made Boston Charlie look and play like a fool.

There is still plenty of Survivor left to play, but the only wildcards are the unallied females repulsed by Rizo: Chrissy, Aubrey and Genevieve. They are conniving enough to defeat Rizo if have the sense of his power, and the sensibility to remove it before it is too late. For now, the name of the game has been changed to Defeat Rizo—except no other player knows it yet.

I was in Rome last Wednesday, an arm’s length away from Pope Leo XIV on the steps of St. Peter’s Basilica. Jet lag and a five-hour time difference were not the only factors keeping me from watching Survivor the next morning; Rome is the farthest point from Survivor. Rome is timeless, it is ancient, it is historic, it is eternal. Survivor is modern. It is American. I tried to think about Survivor as an exercise, but I physically couldn’t; it was trite compared to 3,000 years of history. I tried to read Deliverance on the train from Florence to Rome but couldn’t; I couldn’t allow myself to be anywhere except Rome. I finished Deliverance on the flight back to New York to prepare myself for Survivor on Wednesday. Rome is a dream again, and Survivor is reality.

Survivor is too tame for the tastes of the Ancient Romans—there is not literal bloodletting—but they would approve of its theme; namely, politics as organized bloodshed. The Ancient Romans were the best to ever do it.

The Romans would have loved Survivor because it is not only bloodshed. It is character assassination as sport. It is a game that is meant to be cruel and unfair, and the casualty is a player’s own character.

I remind Nora that it is just a game. I remind myself that it is just a game. But there are consequences to this game, consequences of character. It is a proxy for self-worth with words are your weapons. It is more than a game.

This was the most gut-wrenching episode yet.

Last week, the fans chose a tribe swap and the producer gods obliged. Genevieve made a quip about the fans loving chaos.

Christian, Emily, and Ozzy from Cila stayed together on the new Vatu tribe, joined by Stephanie, Angelina, Mike White and Q. Placing Angelina, Mike White and Christian on the same tribe is a curious decision by the producers; they were on the David vs. Goliath season together in 2018, and therefore have history. Both Angelina and Christian made a good impression on Mike White, who gave them cameos on The White Lotus. But Angelina is annoying about it, bragging that they are friends. Unfortunately, that is truer than I’d like it to be.

These three comprise an pre-existing majority; the others are outsiders who need to muscle into this relationship.

Christian was at the helm barking orders during the blindfolded puzzle challenge, and his tribe lost. (Christian has lost every immunity challenge this season, and no one has said a thing about it.)

Before Tribal Council, Angelina’s name was suggested. She is weak and annoying; her only offering is “being friends with Mike White.” But that goes a long way.

Q is strong and black. He is from Mississippi and I think he lives in Memphis. He looks like he has stomped someone’s head in at a gas station after midnight. He looks like the kind of guy Genevieve would cross the street to avoid. He is also a chaotic player, who was known for asking to be voted out during Survivor 46.

This time, he played a similarly strange game, telling Mike White to vote for him, and bluffing that he had an extra vote. Mike White told Christian and Angelina about Q’s request to be voted out. Emily and Angelina became friends, and Emily called Q’s bluff. Emily told Ozzy the plan, but Ozzy did not want to vote for Q—their first night in Survivor was spent bonding together on Exile Island—but he went along with the vote on the condition that they vote for Angelina if they came to Tribal Council again. Stephanie was left in the dark because she and Q were allied from their time on the old Vatu tribe, where Angelina was the outsider.

In the first episode Q sold his vote for a dutch oven for his old Vatu tribe and could not vote. This was another “old school” mistake. Now that tribes swap at producer’s discretion, any selfless sacrifice on behalf of a tribe that might disband in a few days is an amateur mistake. Loyalties change fast. In the past, Ozzy was burned by such mistakes; when given the choice, he correctly chose immunity.

Without his vote, and without any survival skills, Q didn’t try to muster an offensive against Angelina. At the very least, he could have gotten Ozzy on his side. Christian-Mike White-Angelina was a wall that Q couldn’t penetrate, but he also didn’t try to find the loose brick.

This episode, Zac Brown, the country music singer, Survivor Superfan, and novice spear fisherman made an appearance during the immunity/reward challenge. The winning tribe would get an afternoon drinking beer and listening to Zac Brown give them a private concert as they ate the Ahi tuna freshly spear-fished in the Fijian Sea that afternoon and sat on comfortable chairs instead of stones and logs.

Dee was a superfan of Zac Brown and told him that his music helped her through tough times. She was the most excited to meet him, but her tribe lost by a few seconds, and their only reward was not going to tribal council. On a log back at camp, Dee cried. Vatu lost decisively without Q, and gave up before the final stage of the challenge.

Meanwhile, Coach teared up when Zac Brown played his tunes. Rightly so. Music is a beautiful distraction from the ruthless wilderness.

(Some more brief background: Charlie hates Rizo and so do I. Sadly, Rizo was given a boomerang immunity idol from Genevieve. This made me sick. I predict that they will become a duo. Charlie now must blindside Rizo, a much more difficult task. Genevieve and Aubrey also do not like each other. Charlie needs to befriend Aubrey, to counteract Rizo/Genevieve, but just by looking at her, something tells me that Aubrey hates everybody.)

Angelina is the obvious choice for elimination, but Mike White likes her, and advocates for her when her name is brought up again. His reasoning is spotty and vague. “She knows this game.” Angelina is Mike’s fag hag.

Christian, Mike, and Angelina were all players on David vs. Goliath in 2018, but Christian remembers that Mike and Angelina voted for him. So, they might be “friends” now—especially after the White Lotus cameos—but Survivor is still a game to be won. Christian’s alliance with Emily and Rick is something he honors over his history with Mike and Angelina, even if Rick is on another tribe for the time being.

Some more background: before continuing: before the tribe swap, Christian made Rick aware that he gave Aubrey, the game’s other nerdy girl, the boomerang immunity idol. He did not have a chance to make Emily aware of the same fact until moments after the tribe swap was announced. Emily did not like this incomplete information he hastily conveyed and took it personally. Telling Emily was unnecessary anyway; it will be a long time before the idol needs to be played.

So, instead of putting her faith and trust in Christian, she betrayed Christian and Rick by telling Q and Ozzy about Aubrey’s idol. Q told Stephanie, and they isolated Emily as they plotted together with this new information. Emily told Christian, who was peeved, but forgave her, because he had majority power on the tribe with Angelina and Mike.

Ozzy went along with the vote for Q last week and now wants to vote for Angelina. He makes it no secret that he wants to be Mike White’s partner in place of Angelina because he wants a cameo on The White Lotus. Mike White knows Ozzy from LA; Ozzy was a manager at a restaurant he liked. (This exchange was like Curb Your Enthusiasm in real life).

Emily likes Ozzy. She is nerdy and is attracted to him and wants him to like her. Last episode, she and Angelina spoke and connected instantly, and hugged one another. Now, it seems that Emily has cooled on Angelina because Ozzy wants to vote her out.

Stephanie is lying low. Her ally Q was voted out last time, against the tribe’s best interest. If she tries to play aggressively, they will vote her out as a sacrificial lamb. They have sacrificed a necessary player before, they will do it again to spare one of the cool kids. She has done nothing wrong, except not be one of the cool kids.

Mike White, Angelina, and Christian have a meeting in the shallow end of the beach. Mike tells them that Angelina’s name is floating around, and he is offering Emily as a compromise. Angelina and Emily are the tribe’s weakest members, but Mike prefers Angelina.

Christian is torn; he has an alliance with Emily. Mike informs Christian that he has a weak spot for nerdy girls who betray him, and reminded him of Gabby.

On David vs. Goliath, Christian was besties with an emotional pipsqueak named Gabby. Christian saved Gabby from elimination, and orchestrated a blindside of Gabby’s scary nemesis Carl. The next reward challenge, Christian’s girlfriend (now wife) made an appearance, which sent Gabby into a jealous rage. She flipped on Christian, and then spearheaded a campaign to eliminate him. Davey alerted Christian to the blindside, and Christian played his immunity idol. All votes against Christian were nullified. Mike White and Angelina were the only ones to vote for Gabby, and Gabby was sent home instead. (The next episode, Mike White and Angelina voted Christian out.)

Mike White is a brilliant writer who understands human motivation better than they understand themselves. Christian has a type: cute nerds. (Remember, Christian gave Aubrey the boomerang idol.) The cute nerds use him, then betray him. Mike told Christian that Emily will betray him, and that they should vote her out. (She already has, when she told Q and Ozzy and Stephanie about Aubrey’s immunity idol.) Christian said he would think about it and then turned against Mike.

Christian was hurt by Mike’s true comment and pantomimed a twisted knife in his heart. He then told the story of Gabby, and teared up. Survivor is just a game, but it still hurts, even eight years later. If Christian went to therapy, he’d be able to identify his triggers. Maybe he can go to therapy after this season.

Mike White told Stephanie to vote for Emily, then Christian told Stephanie to vote for Angelina. Ozzy was voting for Angelina, no matter what. He would never think of voting for Mike. For Ozzy, winning Survivor comes second to being real friends with Mike White.

Emily wanted to tell Ozzy the plan, because she likes Ozzy as much as Ozzy likes Mike White. (Everyone has a type.) Christian forbade it. The plan would be ruined, and Emily would go home instead. (Ozzy would vote for Emily to spare Mike White.) Christian said he would worry about Ozzy’s animosity after tribal council.

Then, the first thing Emily does—in Christian’s presence—with Stephanie sitting quietly behind—is tell Ozzy! Just like Mike White predicted, Emily betrayed Christian again. Instead of eating humble pie and agreeing with Mike to vote out Emily, Christian pantomimes behind Ozzy and playfully tells Emily to be quiet. This is why Emily likes Christian but doesn’t respect him: he is too goofy and forgiving. He doesn’t know how to be an asshole to women he finds attractive.

At tribal council, Christian casts the vote against Mike White, ending the life of a friend and fan favorite. And he did it to spare a woman who doesn’t respect him.

This useless war was fought over Angelina, a useless player, and she survives another tribal council.

Nora was livid with Christian’s vote, then absolutely disgusted and despairing. It’s just a game, I tell her. Weaknesses are imperfections, not sins.

What led to this tragedy?

Mike White died on the hill for an unlikable player, then told Christian that he has a type and needs to watch out. Christian took it personally without realizing it, and killed a friend and messenger.

Ozzy hates Christian now. He is smarter now. He will use Angelina and Stephanie to eliminate Christian. He doesn’t even need Emily anymore, but she will do whatever Ozzy says. Christian needed to think ahead. Mike White is a better ally than Emily. It is so easy to make friends in the beginning stages, but it is impossible to keep them until the end.

Legends always die.

A mix between vengeance and jealousy, returning winners are always targeted for elimination first; household name and Survivor 1 winner Richard Hatch was the fifth person voted out when he returned for Survivor All Stars in 2004. In the Kalo tribe, Dee, the winner of Survivor 45, has already been mentioned by Chrissy as a first target in the first episode, should they go to tribal council. Jonathan, Coach, and Mike White agreed independently. Kyle, winner of Survivor 48 was evacuated last week due to a torn ACL, but I can imagine another dimension where Rizo teams with the girls on the Vatu tribe—excluding Stephanie—to eliminate him.

This week Savannah, the winner of Survivor 49, was voted out. I could foresee her early demise from the end of the last episode. After defeating Colby in a mini challenge, she was rewarded with a “block-a-vote” advantage. Colby was castrated. (He lost his next vote at tribal council.) When Savannah returned to camp, she didn’t tell her tribe about her “block-a-vote,” and Rick Devens loudly announced to his tribe alliance that he didn’t believe her. No one in Survivor who wins a challenge wins nothing.

Rick Devens didn’t trust Savannah after that. (Rick Devens reminds me of Nick Rochefort.) Savannah was already the mysterious winner of Survivor 49 trying to play these titans of the game like fools, and didn’t gel with them personality wise. They were not falling for it.

Tears were shed after Kyle was evacuated from the Vatu tribe, specifically from Genivieve, who admitted that part of her felt guilty over the implications Kyle’s loss has on her game. (Kamilla cried real tears; she went to Final Tribal council with Kyle in Season 48.) Kyle was a leader among leaders, and Genivieve was considered for a spot in his alliance with Stephanie and Colby, but there is no oreo cream holding the cookie together at the moment. Q also needs to develop his own game without his oreo Kyle as a buffer. Sitting on the couch, I think they should all team up against Rizo.

Colby and Q foolishly told Rizo they have both been castrated (they lost/sold their votes at the next tribal council). This is information Rizo can use against them; he can mobilize the other lazy girls (Aubry and Angelina; Genevieve can be convinced) to cast votes for one of them to eliminate a strong player early. Rizo wants Colby’s head on his wall and thinks he has changed his tribe’s perception of him after the first few days. Colby has a soft spot for Rizo, but Q and Stephanie correctly identify his laziness when he “cuts himself” trying to fish and decides to go back to camp to sit on a log and do nothing.

Genivieve plays her own paranoid game and thinks that she saw Aubry guarding her bag, which might contain a hidden immunity idol. Stephanie distracts Aubry on the beach, and Genivieve leads the charge, digging through her bag and placing her belongings carefully back. No idol. At least she established herself as paranoid and willing to violate the boundaries of others for information. No boundaries in Survivor. Genivieve and Aubry are too similar to be friends.

A new mechanic introduced this game is the “Billie Eilish boomerang idol.” A player who finds the immunity idol can “boomerang” it to another player. It is a secret who boomerangs the idol, but if the player who received the idol is voted out before using it, the idol goes back to the person who sent it. Christian found one such idol after pooping his pants, and threw it to fellow nerd Aubry, after her tribe violated her. Christian sent the idol as a sign that he thinks she would be a good person to work with. (When Genivieve sent the idol to Ozzy last week it was because she thinks he would more likely be blindsided, and she would get the idol back. Different strategies.)

Yes, Christian pooped his pants and he handled it humbly, inspiring all of us to be poop ourselves graciously and gracefully. It is not surprising that players become incontinent when they only eat rice and drinking sour coconut water, but if there was someone to do it by accident and make me want to do it on purpose to be more like him, it would be Christian.

Meanwhile, the Kalo tribe is living peacefully. Besides Chrissy giving orders like a mom, and Coach thinking he is still young enough to fish with Jonathan, getting cramped calves and almost drowning if it wasn’t for the Survivor rescue boats that are always camped in the water if a player decides to swim, there is no more movement on who to vote out if they go to Tribal Council. They are living and waiting.

When it came time for the immunity challenge, teams broke into pairs and raced down a trail to untie a 200lb snake doll, carrying it the back down the trail and laying its head on a low metal rack. Once all three snakes were placed, three people needed to guide a cue ball using ropes down a snake shaped path, then drop the ball into the hole at the end of the path.

Rizo did not seem to try very hard at the challenge, and seemed to be purposefully sluggish. He doesn’t feel like he could be voted out in his tribe’s current state, and might prefer tribal council. But, like the true old school player that he is, Colby made up for lost time and caught his team up with Stephanie’s help because he is built differently. They finished second to the Kalo tribe, who got their ball in the hole on the first try. The Cila tribe dropped their ball and couldn’t recover.

They were sent to Tribal Council that night, and the politicking began.

Watching Survivor is like watching a political party forming in real time. Except in this democracy, one person walks the plank. Christian, Nick Bevens and Emily are allied and won’t vote for one another. That leaves Cirie and Ozzy, secretly the most powerful alliance on Cila: Ozzy has a hidden immunity idol, and an extra vote he gave to Cirie. Two people with three votes—one of which whose votes against them don’t count—is can be persuasive. Together, they could take out the Christian-Nick-Emily alliance. But they need Joe.

Joe is a big, strong, nice guy who, like Christian, wants to play the game with integrity. But he also wants to be kept in the loop, and he doesn’t want to be lied to. H wants to have his cake and eat it too. Not lying is not always possible in Survivor, and it is especially not possible when your name is considered for votes.

Rick Devens likes Joe as a person, but doesn’t want him in this game; Joe isn’t fun, he won’t lie, and doesn’t understand lies, and gets in the way. Christian considers a “Joe-tation:” withholding information from Joe, and only providing it when they need his vote. Sounds like they should just include him in their alliance as the outsider.

Cirie has her own game plan: stick with Ozzy at all costs. Emily wants to vote for Ozzy, but Cirie doesn’t confirm her alliance with Ozzy, just throws Emily off the scent by providing facts about Savannah: she won once and they don’t know her reputation. And she has already lied about having an advantage. Nothing Emily doesn’t know or doesn’t agree with. Cirie tells Devens the facts about Savannah separately.

When speaking to Emily and Savannah together, Cirie said she would vote for Joe. Emily considered Ozzy’s name again, but Savannah has expert instincts and senses that Cirie smells “blood in the water” at Emily’s mention of Ozzy. Cirie splashed cold water on his name very quickly, and offered Joe as a target instead. Are Emily’s instincts as good as Savannah’s?

As Joe lounges in the swinging hammock, Christian talks strategy beneath him. In the funniest shot all season, Christian’s blue eyes and round face are seen through hammock as he calms Joe down.

Before tribal council, in interview footage that was probably taken before politicking settled and Savannah was agreed upon, Emily says that “anyone, from Joe to Savannah to Ozzy, could go home tonight.”

The editor’s foreshadow the eliminated player in the form of a lengthy goodbye speech. Savannah gave that heartfelt speech this time, which she deserved. Real tears were shed. She said she was “closed off” in Survivor 49, but on Survivor 50, she was being more of herself.

Savannah voted for Ozzy, but the votes were cast unanimously against her. That hurt. Savannah gave an “old era” goodbye; once she was asked to leave immediately she didn’t say goodbye or look back at her tribe that she would never see again. She shed some tears to Jeff, said she had a great time, and then, her torch was snuffed for the first time ever. To dust we all return. It is not Savannah’s fault she came in with the advantage/disadvantage of being a winner. Now she can relax and enjoy her million dollars.

I hope to see Rizo’s reaction to Savannah’s elimination; they were besties on Survivor 49, but they didn’t exchange a word on Survivor 50.

Next episode showed a tribe swap, which makes my predictions null and void. When tribes swap, everything changes.

Survivor is freaking back! Let’s go!!!!

This season the producers have given “The Fans” design and casting choices via public pre-season vote. As a fan lying dormant since 2005, I feel like I have been released from jail after 20 years stripped of my right to participate in the democratic voting process. Democracy is wasted on an uneducated populace anyway. Thankfully, “The Fans” default is castaway torment and design twists, so it seems we agree. Let’s hope they also have good taste.

The Survivor world has changed in 20 years, and many of the castaways from the “new era” are strangers to me. Players returning from the early 2000s “classic era” are Colby, Jenna, Stephanie, Ozzy, Cirie and Coach. Mike White (creator of White Lotus) and Christian Hubicki, a robotics scientist, were crowd favorites from the David and Goliath flavored season from 2018. Then there are the “new era” players of which I know none, except for Savannah, winner of Survivor 49, and her closest ally, Rizo.

Clawing my way back into the loop, I have noticed colloquial terms like “new era” tossed around flippantly by newer players. It seems like the “classic era” refers to the early 2000s, when successful players had likable personalities/were good providers, fishing, building shelter, starting fire. These players were less likely to be voted out early because they were useful for surviving the environment. The game was still cutthroat but played with more integrity. Once made, alliances were honored. In this “new era,” being a “good guy” or a provider places a target on your back, as does “having a good story.” Someone with a “good story” gets sympathy from the jury, so it is better to eliminate the sympathetic before they can wield their sympathy like a weapon. Players also talk about what is best for “their game,” and say things like, “I want to work with you…” It sounds like the halls of Congress. Jenna, from Survivor’s first season, compared a regular season of Survivor to “Gen Pop…this [season] is Death Row.”

After disembarking from the transport vessel and some player testimony/character development, the castaways were divided into tribes. The reputations of their fellow tribesmen preceding them, there are no clean slates in Survivor 50. Except Savannah and Rizo, whose season hadn’t aired by the time season 50 began filming, everyone knows of everyone else.

Once on their tribes, Jeff, the Survivor NPCGod, informed players that the only thing the game needs them to give is “everything.” Boom.

And the best way for them to “give everything” is to begin the game with nothing; “The Fans” voted for the players to start the game without rice or fishing supplies. Let them work for it.

The tribes, named Cila, Kalo and Vatu, consisted of eight players each, four men and four women. Each tribe also contained a prior winner from the “new era:” Dee, Kyle and Savannah. Once established, the tribes immediately went into their first challenge as strangers, without time to mingle.

Vatu won the challenge off Stephanie’s early lead and were rewarded with a flint to make fire. They also received a roaring bonfire back at camp. Before the tribes were taken to their campsites, Jeff requested one player from each tribe for another challenge on a different island, for a chance to win a dutch oven and a machete. Q from Vatu, Coach from Kalo, and Ozzy from Cila were elected/volunteered and taken away from their tribe.

Ozzy and Coach have history; Ozzy cost Coach the $1 million prize 16 years ago. Q was the third wheel and walked silently a few steps ahead of them as they awkwardly tried to bury the hatchet. In the challenge, a key to unlock a chest containing the dutch oven hung on a nail that could only be reached with rickety sticks tied together with twine. It was a slog. After nearly 30 minutes with no success for any player, Ozzy offered that the game end for whoever knocked the key from the nail. Q seemed very agreeable in the face of these titans, but Coach was not swayed by Ozzy and said nothing. Once Ozzy knocked the key down from the nail, Coach used his rickety stick to claw it towards him, then grabbed it away from Ozzy, who half-heartedly pleaded with Coach not to take it. Q looked on and didn’t want to interfere. Coach was sorry/not sorry and received a hero’s welcome back at camp.

As punishment for losing, Q and Ozzy were banished to Exile Island, an island of bugs and wind, separated from their tribe for the game’s first night, missing a key moment where initial friend groups are established.

After their night in exile, they were given another choice: either they could go back to their tribe with no supplies and an extra vote, or they could give up their vote and go back to their tribe with a dutch oven. Q decided to be a “classic era” player and paid with his vote, going back with a dutch oven. Votes are power, and without them, players are worthless to their alliance. Ozzy knows this from experience, and decided to play a “new era” style game, saying that he didn’t trust his tribe. True; he had no time to get to know them.

Back in the Vatu camp, Colby and Stephanie, old allies and “good guys” from the “classic era” became allies once again. Colby and Kyle became fast friends, and were looking for two more to join, to make a majority of five strong. As a fellow black man, Kyle vouched for Q, and reassured him that he was going to be part of their alliance, so long as he talked to Genevieve. Q was embarrassed to admit to Kyle that he lost his vote, but Kyle reassured him that it wouldn’t matter, and they dabbed.

At the Cila camp, Ozzy confided in Cirie that he traded the dutch oven for an extra vote. Cirie and Ozzy also have history; Cirie blindsided Ozzie back in 2008. Bygones be bygones in the “new era” (except when it comes to Ozzy and Coach). Ozzy and Cirie agreed to be “ride-or-die.” Meanwhile, Jenna, from Season 1, trying to re-establish herself as a killer, talked too soon about possibly voting out Cirie. Christian, the game’s most noble player, confided that his secret weapon is his six-week-old son, “who will someday see this.” If there is one player who can break the mold and neither become evil to survive, nor die a hero’s death, it is Christian.

In Kalo, Coach made alliances with the giant, Jonathan. Chrissy told Coach her plans to eliminate Dee, a previous winner, and Jonathan told Mike White, once Coach left their group yoga, that he wanted to eliminate Dee. Mike White agreed. Dee and Tiffany made an alliance, and Kamilla stayed open. Prior winners are big targets, but I predict that Dee will charm Coach to vote for Jonathan in a future episode.

Three tribes competed for immunity, and there would be two winners. Besides avoiding Tribal Council, winners would also receive fishing gear, depending on if they placed first or second.

Kalo won immunity and the advanced fishing kit. Vatu got second despite Kyle’s injury, and Cirie blew it for Cila, and they were sent to Tribal Council.

Back at camp, Christian did his best to cheer everyone up as a coach/dad for his sad teammates, but Cirie knew that she was in trouble. With some ground to stand on, this time Jenna made the case for Cirie to be voted out at Tribal Council. “We don’t need a 54-year-old who can’t swim or run.” Good instincts for the “classic era.” “New era” players Savannah and Joe agreed with Jenna. Jenna was objectively correct, but sometimes on Survivor, that doesn’t matter.

Cirie advocated for herself, but Ozzy was unconvincing on her behalf. The majority met together in secret, without Ozzy, Jenna, or Cirie. Christian wanted a consensus on Cirie v Jenna before they left for Tribal Council. Savanah made the case that Cirie is crafty and her game is fluid, while Jenna comes out bludgeons swinging to scare people into her circle. Jenna’s game is predictable and can be played around, but Cirie’s cannot. Christian believed, and Savannah was convinced, that they should keep Cirie as an future ally if they could find a place for her in challenges. Jenna was voted out unanimously.

The next day, Kyle’s injury was revisited at camp by the medics. After an ultrasound, they deemed his Achilles tendon torn, and he was forcibly evacuated. Kyle claimed not to be in any pain, which I believed, but he also couldn’t walk off the beach by himself, and needed to be carried by Q and Colby. He would have been a liability to his tribe, and they would be forced to vote him out anyway. Player evacuation isn’t unprecedented—the first castaway evacuated was back in season 2 (Colby’s first season)—but it demonstrates that there are a few ways to be eliminated from Survivor.

Q now needs to convince Genevieve that he can be trusted, without his oreo pal to speak on his behalf. I like Q, and think he might have a “great story.”

Current Favorite Castaways: Savannah, Q, Mike White, Christian, Colby, Rick Devens

Runner Up: Kamilla, Genevieve, Emily

The only time I do not want to hear an urgent message from President Trump is during the Survivor season finale. President Trump can speak whenever else he desires; news outlets are devoted to tracking his every movement and amplifying every word. Choosing Wednesday night—and the Survivor 49 finale—suggests two things: either his message is more important for the American people than the results of this epic competition, or, he is so out of touch by working around the clock that he doesn’t know that the American people would prefer to hear his vital message during a night when there is not much on.

That he chose to do it on a Wednesday night and the Survivor 49 finale to give a victorious and politically necessary message for a few reasons that I do not care to think about or discuss was not an accident; Trump chose to interrupt Survivor because it is as relevant as the human condition and still dominates the ratings, for good reason.

Survivor 49 has shaken me from a lengthy slumber, and awakened a dormant, rabid and obsessive fan. I was reminded why I loved this show so much as a kid. I love it when television characters are killed off in dramatic and unpredictable ways—and on Survivor, by design, this happens every week. Tribal Council is a ritualized execution dressed in torchlight. Each episode ends not with closure, but with a loss.

This time, watching the season unfold, thoughts began taking the form of words and spilling out onto the page.

The bones of the game have remained largely unchanged since Survivor: Borneo aired in 2000.

Castaways—complete strangers—are stranded onto barren tropical islands and divided into tribes. Working together to build shelter and find food, they then must compete against the other tribe in a series of physical challenges. Winning a challenge brings rewards: necessary food, like fish or live chickens, survival gear like tarps and fishing line, or occasional luxuries like steak, red wine, or cheesecake. Losing means casting a secret ballot at Tribal Council to eliminate a fellow tribe member.

In the early stages of the game, weak players that cause their tribe to lose challenges are easy targets for elimination. Exactly like in nature, the weak are culled and the strong survive. When enough players are eliminated in the early stages, the tribes merge into one, and the game becomes an individual contest. Challenges are no longer won by tribes, but individuals; votes cannot be cast for those individuals at tribal council. At this stage, the game shifts. Survival is not only about enduring the environment but about enduring each other. Survivor becomes a study in the science of power—how it is gained, shared, betrayed, and lost.

Survivor is The Hero’s Journey, told in the format of an epic game disguised as a reality TV show. It gives the viewer insight into the human condition—political, psychological, and physical—in much the same way the best novels do.

As the season progresses and power dynamics shift, alliances realign like old European empires. Instead of fighting for continental dominance, players fight for one million dollars. The stakes are smaller, but the behavior is identical.

A season of Survivor can be examined under a microscope, with the attention of a historian. Perhaps I will do that next season. For now, I will keep it simple..

For the full experience, watch Survivor 50: In the Hands of the Fans on Wednesday, February 25, 2026, at 8 p.m. ET on CBS. Leading up to the premiere, CBS will air a two-week marathon of classic episodes featuring players from the Season 50 cast, starting February 9, 2026—the day after the Superbowl.

EARLY GAME

Survivor 49 began with three tribes, Hina, Uli and Kele, each with six members, for a total of 18 players.

The Kele tribe lost the first three challenges and forced to eliminate 3 of its members. Then, in an unexpected twist, their de facto leader—a buff corrections officer named Jake—was bitten by a venomous snake while reflecting on the beach about his decision to play Survivor instead of witness the birth of his firstborn.

Off-screen doctors emerged from the hidden jungle thickets to administer First Aid and evacuate him to base camp. Jake was deemed safe from venom but was forcibly evacuated by the producers in time for the birth of his son. So, by circumstance and ineptitude of the Kele tribe’s members—if you see a snake, run!—Kele were whittled down to two, while the Hina and Uli tribes both remained at a healthy six.

Then, came the game’s first twist: tribe swap. Each castaway chose new tribe colors at random, mixing up players and alliances. The new Hina tribe, containing only two Hina members (Jason and Matt), lost the next two immunity challenges. The four Uli tribe members, Nate, Savannah, Jawan and Rizo were in the majority. The other remaining Kele tribe member, Sophi, smartly allied with the Uli majority. Uli, lead by Savannah with Nate as a figurehead, plotted to dispose of either Jason or Matt. For the first vote, the majority was split between Matt and Jason, with Matt receiving more votes, and being sent home. Jason was voted out at the next tribal council following their subsequent loss.

The old Hina members noticed the pattern and sought revenge, not just for personal reasons, but to even the playing field and fight for the ruling majority. But then, the game forced another tribe swap. The tribal merge was becoming elusive, perhaps it was not going to happen at all.

The second tribe swap placed a majority of Uli members (Shannon, Sage and Jawan) onto a tribe with Hina member Steven. When they lost the immunity challenge, one of them would be sent home.

From their early days in Uli, Sage secretly disliked Shannon for being disingenuous with other players, and made her feelings known in confessionals. Shannon meanwhile felt that Sage was one of her closest allies. Circumstances kept the two together through tribe swaps, and Sage conspired with Jawan and Steven to eliminate Shannon. After the votes were cast at Tribal Council, Shannon went in for a goodbye hug, which Sage refused.

Shannon’s elimination was Sage’s first power move.

When tribes finally merged, the other Uli members noticed Steven’s presence over Shannon. Jawan, Sage and Steven all agreed on the lie that Shannon was voted out for “losing her mind” to keep secret their new alliance from the other Uli members.

POST MERGE

When the tribes merge, immunity is won at challenges on an individual basis. The single, merged tribe goes to tribal council after every challenge, and the individual winner of the immunity challenge cannot be voted out. (Modern Survivor complicates this format with twists designed to challenge veteran players and entertain viewers. Survivor 49 featured many such twists, but for clarity, they are omitted here.)

After the merge, eliminated players are not sent home immediately. Instead, they join the jury—returning to base camp clean, fed, and rested—where they silently observe Tribal Councils until the final vote.

Jurors do not speak until Final Tribal Council, where they are each allowed one question for the remaining three castaways. After hearing the finalists’ pleas, the jury votes for the Sole Survivor.

Post merge, Sophie from Hina won immunity.

(There are two castaways with similar names: Sophi from Kele, and Sophie from Hina.)

Nate and Rizo—quietly directed by “street boss” Savannah—chose to target Steven from Hina. Sophi, from the decimated Kele tribe, took refuge under Savannah’s wing.

Meanwhile, Jawan followed Sage’s lead. Sage allied with Hina members Steven, MC, Kristina, Sophie and Alex to orchestrate a blindside against Nate. The vote eliminated him decisively, shifting power into Sage’s hands. With a 7–3 majority, she emerged as the game’s Godmother.

Unfortunately, Sage killed the wrong pig.

Nate was a sheep in wolf’s clothing. A stay-at-home dad and secret Marvel movie producer, Nate was not a cutthroat strategist. He was a mild-mannered, relaxed, and content to follow Savannah’s suggestions. His elimination was a bold message that there was a new boss. Savannah’s cover was blown.

After this blindside, every vote cast at tribal council was a battle between Sage and Savannah. Castaways were eliminated based on their proximity to the orbit of these rivals.

The arcs of the remaining castaways are summarized below. Read them like eulogies.

MC

MC began on Hina. She was athletic and consistent challenge contributor. for her tribe. She did not make enemies, but failed to build lasting alliances. On a side quest, MC found a hidden immunity idol. At the first post-merge Tribal Council, Jawan assured her she was safe if she voted against Nate. She played her idol anyway and Jawan took this as a sign of mistrust.

When another twist caused her to be a tribal council alongside better connected and immune players, MC had no protection left. With no close allies and no leverage, she appealed unsuccessfully to Jawan. She was deemed expendable and joined Nate on the jury.

ALEX

Alex was a Kele member. He was the “street boss” of Kele, the brains pulling the strings behind Jake’s brawn. After Jake’s evacuation and another immunity loss, Alex chose to keep Sophi and eliminate Jeremiah.

During the tribe swap phase, Alex and Sophi were separated. When they reunited at the merge, they found little binding them beyond Kele’s failure. Unlike Sophi, who settled safely under Savannah and Rizo, Alex played free agent—attempting to balance both sides.

On the island, information travels fast. When Sage learned that Savannah and Rizo knew details only Alex possessed, she identified him as the leak. Sage and Rizo agreed to eliminate him.

Alex’s final words were simple: “I shouldn’t have played both sides.”

His elimination was a major win for Rizo—and a strategic loss for Sage, who lost a potential counterweight to Savannah.

JAWAN

Jawan was an Uli member and Sage’s right-hand man. Loyal, good-natured, and occasionally sloppy, he frustrated Sage with loose lips—but she valued him beyond utility. She genuinely liked him.

Savannah never did.

Their conflict began early in Uli, when Jawan mistook Savannah’s bag for his own, dumped her belongings into the sand, and filled it with firewood.

Savannah attempted to eliminate him even before the merge, but tribal loyalty prevailed. Uli blood was thicker than water.

After the merge, Savannah waited patiently. When she saw an opening to blindside Jawan using Sophie as a swing vote, she took it.

Sage was devastated. She embraced Jawan with real tears. Jawan laughed on his way out. He loved every moment of Survivor.

SOPHIE

Sophie was nearly invisible pre-merge. After the merge, she believed herself a hinge between Sage and Savannah—strong enough to swing the game without fully committing.

She won immunity challenges at critical moments, keeping herself alive while refusing to choose a side. That ambiguity made her dangerous and untrustworthy.

When Sage attempted another move against Savannah, with votes secured from Steven and Jawan, Sophie instead sided with Savannah and eliminated Jawan. Kristina compounded the failure by misvoting, wasting her ballot.

Sage called a truce. Not out of trust—but vengeance.

With Steven immune, Sophie became expendable. Savannah was happy to betray her. Sophie was unanimously eliminated, stunned by the vote and alone in casting a ballot against Savannah.

Jawan flexed from the jury, and Sage smiled devilishly.

Betrayal is Survivor currency, but timing is everything.

STEVEN

Steven was Savannah’s primary target from the merge onward. Savannah called him strong, funny, likable and brilliant, and therefore, unbeatable at Final Tribal.

Sage agreed implicitly. Steven was ally and rival.

Steven survived by winning immunity challenges exactly when needed. When he couldn’t, others fell in his place. On a grueling side quest, he won a vote-block advantage. The next day, he won immunity.

After Sophie’s elimination, Steven knew his time was short. When he lost immunity to Savannah, he attempted to rally Kristina and Sage to eliminate Sophi—the only unprotected member of the opposing alliance.

At Tribal Council, Steven blocked Savannah’s vote and cast his ballot for Sophi. Savannah reminded Sage of the obvious truth: Steven would win if he reached the end.

Sage and Kristina voted for Steven.

Steven stared at Sage in disbelief. She met his eyes and said, quietly:

“I couldn’t beat you, dude.”

KRISTINA

By this stage, tribe distinctions no longer mattered.

Kristina was kind, generous, and politically careless. She helped enemies without extracting value. She misplayed her idol. She missed signals. When Rizo floated the idea of eliminating Sage, Savannah shut it down—not out of mercy, but respect.

Instead, Savannah identified Kristina as “good at fire.”

Rizo did as he was told, and voted accordingly.

RIZO

Rizo was Savannah’s closest ally. He found a hidden immunity idol early, hadvertised its existence loudly, and played it for Savannah only when it no longer mattered.

He didn’t win challenges; Savannah won for him.

Rizo and Savannah were powerful all season. Eliminating Rizo would require double blindsiding him; making him feel secure so as not to play his hidden immunity idol, and then voting him out.

Eliminating Rizo would have required a flawless double blindside. Sage never had the discipline across her coalition to pull it off.

Rizo was never betrayed by Savannah. He lost only at fire.

FINAL THREE

It is worth remembering that Sage and Savannah began on the same tribe.

Savannah called the shots with Nate as a human shield and Rizo as a clingy cheerleader, while Sage sat back and observed, like the weird and quiet new kid at the lunch table—resentful, analytical. Annoyed by Shannon early on when they were isolated together on a small tribe, Sage didn’t care to follow Savannah/Nate’s game plan of eliminating Hina tribe members, opting instead to eliminate Shannon with the help of Jawan and Steven.

From there, she shocked Savannah and Rizo by eliminating Nate and seizing control.

But control is not permanence.

With a 7-3 majority following that vote, she became the Godmother. Sophi kissed Sage’s ring, ingratiating herself and saying that her relationship with Savannah was only a fling, and only out of convenience.

Sage loomed over Savannah, and the entire game at that moment before Savannah won a critical immunity challenge.

At final tribal council, Steven, salty from betrayal, asked Sage how she was able to blow such a 7-3 advantage.

Simply put, not everyone was willing to be Jawan.

Sage played a strategic game that required competence from others. Savannah played a fear-based game that required only obedience.

The last surviving member of the Kele tribe, Sophi survived by being harmless. She aligned permanently with Savannah post-merge and never posed a threat.

She won the final immunity challenge and chose fire—forcing Savannah and Rizo to compete. Savannah won. Rizo fell.

Sophi reached the end without making enemies or moves. She was still the pitiful, lost puppy, but she had been adopted by a millionaire.

That was not enough.

SAVANNAH

After the merge and Sage’s deception of Nate, Savannah was a dead woman walking—until she began winning immunity challenges, with Steven and Sophie sharing a distant second. Even then, her true insurance was Rizo. He held a hidden immunity idol and would have played it for her if necessary, a backup that allowed Savannah to operate aggressively.

Sage’s inability to corral a disjointed group of castaways to flush Rizo’s idol—or eliminate Savannah during the brief windows when she was vulnerable—helped preserve Savannah’s control. One by one, the outsiders Sage might have harnessed were picked off.

Savannah was physically fit, tiny and compact, and so dominant in endurance challenges that she shit-talked her opponents until they cracked under the mental pressure. More than once, during challenges, Sage begged Savannah for mercy—offering truces, alliances.

Savannah’s alliance with Rizo was tighter than the majority attempting to eliminate them, both in loyalty and protection. She identified threats like Steven and Sophie more accurately than Sage and pulled the right strings at the right moments to remove them. Sage’s elimination of Nate was only a message. Savannah survived the war.

Savannah’s guaranteed votes came from Rizo and Nate, her earliest and most loyal allies from Uli. She earned swing votes from Alex, Sophie, and Steven—not through sentiment, but through the political precision used to eliminate them and the physical dominance that kept her alive through repeated assassination attempts.

She dominated from an underdog position and deserved to win it all.