Troy finally fired Brian. Troy told Jim. Jim told me and said it was because Brian was always late.
There are three ways to get fired: be rude to a customer, steal, or show up late. Jim shows up to work early because he sleeps in a van in the parking lot. He is much too docile to be rude to anyone, even his ex-wife, and he prefers to drink coffee and smoke cigarettes than purchase lunch, even with the 50% employee discount.
Jim is the last person to know anything that happens behind the counter. He minds his own business and doesn’t ask questions. His lunch is a Marlboro and a coffee. Every 10th coffee is free.
I remember the day Troy wrote Brian up the first time. Troy yelled at Brian in front of the rest of the staff and told him to go to the HR office, the room where they keep spare name tags and hats.
We all saw it happen. Then Troy turned to Alessandro and told him “that kid Brian was 30 minutes late again.” We all heard that too.
Troy also fired Jabbar for stealing. Troy watched Jabbar fill up a tray of Mac and Cheese then walk upstairs. When Jabbar returned after his break Troy asked him if he paid for his lunch. He said, “The line was too long.”
Jabbar was fired on his second day.
But Brian was different.
Brian wasn’t "some kid.” Well, he was, but he was also Brian. He was one of the original twelve clerks hired for the grand opening. He never wore a hair net, his wavy black hair poked out from beneath his work hat. His sallow skin matched his thick glasses and overbite. It was difficult to understand ninety percent of what Brian was saying.
Brian was a braggart when I did understand him, and when he wasn’t talking about what he planned to eat for lunch he bragged about being late; that he was written up, but was still showing up late. He didn’t care. He said he would stay at this job for 2 years if they treated him right.
Meanwhile, Troy continued to write him up. He did not tell James. He only told Alessandro—after it was already done. Alessandro never asked.
Brian became friends with Matt, who never came to work late, even though his commute was 30 minutes, and Brian’s was 17 minutes.
Brian and Matt liked to talk about some video game they both played, or some anime they both watched. In the beginning, I tried to talk with them about anime and video games, but my references were twenty years too late. There has been new anime and new video games released since 2004. Matt and Brian were proud nerds and hated Stranger Things. Brian felt vindicated by the shitty ending.
When Brian asked me if I celebrate Columbus Day because I am Italian, I told him that in this deli Christopher Columbus is a hero! End of story! They looked at me like they didn’t get the reference to The Sopranos. It ended the year they were born.
The last time I saw Brian was after work on Friday, the day before Troy fired him. He walked with a hunch, carrying a box of disco volante ice cream sandwiches under his arm with a green ‘paid’ sticker on it. I wouldn’t recognize him without his red work hat, and his hair was poking out from underneath it.
I told Julio that Brian was killed in a car crash, rushing to get to work on time. Julio laughed, but said that joke was very bad.
If Brian died on the way to being late for work would I attend his funeral? Would Troy? What about Jim or Matt or Alessandro? Or Jesus or Julio or Emily or Keith or Joe or Phillip or Kevin or Camden?
I only knew Brian for two months. He wouldn’t be a footnote, yet, he is getting a eulogy. I am much too sensitive to work with people in a temporary job. Sentimentality is a disability.
Troy didn’t care. Brian got what he deserved. Brian lives with his family. If he was living in his van like Jim, he would be on time every day.
I broke the news to Matt. He was deadpan as usual, said ‘oh well’, but I could tell that he was going to miss Brian. They didn’t exchange numbers or Discord usernames—Matt never goes on Discord anyway, and they don’t use Instagram or Facebook. They live too far from one another to hang out. The deli counter was the perfect middle ground to meet and chat about anime and video games as they slice the prosciutto. If they got each other’s Discord names—or however kids talk on video games now—maybe they could have been online friends.
When I broke the news of Brian’s firing to Camden he said, “sucks to suck.” And then: “Which one was Brian?”
"Which one was Brian" is a great ending