Survivor might be a hero’s journey, but to win, the hero must become villainous. Might is right and it is not very nice.
This week, it was Stephanie’s turn to become villainous, which she did out of desperation to save face, and not very well.
The female hero counterpart to Colby, Stephanie was the other archetypal old school player. She is an active provider, immunity challenge winner, and generally honest. Therefore, it is not cute when she larps as a villain and lies; it is cringe. Her tells are like nervous tics, but the only person who can tell she is lying is the most powerful player in the game: Cirie. In private, Cirie tells Stephanie she knows when she is lying, and Stephanie admits it. She is a good guy, a boring hero. She is too honest to be a competent villain.
At the first Survivor auction since Survivor 45, each player was given $500 to spend on junk food. For instance, Emily won a chocolate milkshake for $150. Any funds remaining could be pocketed for when they return to real life where milkshakes will still cost $150. Cirie won charcuterie and ate so much so fast that she puked. Then she returned from vomiting and ate more charcuterie. Just once in my life, I’d like to experience hunger like that. Aubry won mac and cheese and was tearfully reminded of her toddler, then Joe agrees and says “my kids are who I am.” Then all the players paid $20 for letters from home and most of them cried.
Then, Jeff introduced Mr. Beast, who appeared from behind some bushes. Rizo is the generation who grew up with Mr. Beast, and he stands up to greet him. Cirie didn’t know who Mr. Beast was. I’m halfway between Rizo and Cirie; I have been aware of Mr. Beast since he counted to 100,000 in 2013, when Rizo was 13 years old, and I was starting to become too old to care about what was happening on the internet. Then, Mr. Beast was the guy who gave a new home to a pizza delivery guy, and then he was the guy who made a fast-food restaurant, and then he was the guy whose best friend became trans and a pedophile, I think. Mr. Beast grew up watching Survivor because he has a game show now, I think. I don’t know because I am not his target audience.
Mr. Beast was unusually quiet. Jeff did most of the talking while Mr. Beast rubbing his hands together like a perfidious Jew. His presence and suspicious impact on the game was making the players writhe with uneasy anticipation. Jeff introduced Mr. Beast’s “Beware Advantage,” which was to be revealed that night at Tribal Council, after a surprise immunity challenge with stomachs full on the other side of some bushes.
At the challenge, players must balance a ball on a bow and stand on a tilted balance beam. They will move down the beam every few minutes of resetting the ball. If the ball falls off the bow, or the player falls off the platform, then they are eliminated.
Emily and Rick need to win because they are disliked by Ozzy and Joe and in a minority. Emily loses early, but not as early as Stephanie, who surprisingly loses before Rizo and Cirie. Tiffany, Joe and Ozzy are the final three standing, which has become a pattern. Tiffany wins over Ozzy and cries tears of joy. It is Day 19, and she was eliminated on Day 19, the last time she played. Ozzy is still chasing Boston Rob for most immunity idol challenges won, which is worth more to him than the actual immunity necklace, since he has a hidden immunity idol.
These three are dominating the immunity challenges, but only Ozzy has a hidden immunity idol and is allied with Cirie. He can lose a challenge and still get into final three. Tiffany and Joe are not as well connected, but their continued winning could place them into a final three and force Rizo and Cirie to vote against one another.
Nonetheless, after Tiffany wins immunity Rick is the easiest choice to eliminate because he is in a dying minority, but he is also very easy to eliminate because he is so annoying now. He bragged about finding an immunity idol that everyone but Joe and Jonathan knew was a fake and then told everyone it was a fake to clear his name. Really, it just put the target on his friend, Christian. Rick’s demise can be delayed by those pulling the strings in favor of blindsiding someone more powerful. But who? No one can agree, especially with this Mr. Beast Beware Advantage twist looming, which could explode everyone’s plans, and probably why no one has a plan.
After eating a boiled sea slug for Ozzy to enjoy microwavable buffalo wings at the auction, Jonathan decides that Ozzy needs to be eliminated. Stephanie says it should be Rizo. Rick says it should Rizo. Rizo’s name cursed. Anyone who utters it is voted out. Jonathan also has an unlikely alliance with Tiffany by way of Aubry, but they also can’t agree on who to put their votes on. Jonathan tells Joe that they are thinking of voting for Ozzy because they are allied. But Joe tells Cirie. Joe is the second biggest guy in this game behind Jonathan, and his villainous form is a tattle tale. Cirie is the godmother who will probably win this game. Cirie must protect Ozzy again and considers using her extra vote to do so. Cirie is going to get tired of protecting Ozzy and let him get eaten by Jonathan.
In a very out of character move, Stephanie tells Cirie that she and Jonathan are thinking of voting for Rick or Emily. Cirie knows that Stephanie walked over to her side or camp just to lie to her; her secret flunkie Joe has already told her of their plan to vote for Ozzy! Stephanie knows, or plumb forgot, that Cirie can tell when she is lying because she nervously touches her face and cannot look Cirie in the eye. Maybe Stephanie also forgot that Cirie knew about Steohanie’s extra vote. Even when stranded on an island for a reality TV game show, the only place where lying is not sinful but permissible, she does it poorly. She has too much integrity; it makes her nervous.
At tribal council, and before Mr. Beast reveals his mystery beware advantage, Rick annihilates Stephanie and Jonathan by telling everyone that they wanted to eliminate Ozzy. Jonathan’s eyes go wide with rage and disbelief. Stephanie tried to defend herself by lying poorly. I left the room until it was over. Rizo says (paraphrase) ‘no offense to Stephanie but just own your lies! It looks better to admit it at tribal than to double down.’ Very true. When caught in a lie it shows greater character to admit it, than to lie so much you believe it into delusion.
Then Mr. Beast finally comes out, and over the course of a few commercial breaks, he reveals that his beware advantage is a golden coin that a player must flip. If the player wins the flip, they have immunity, and the prize pool increases to $2 million. If they lose the flip, their torch is snuffed. And then I think they still have a tribal council after that, I don’t know.
Rick volunteers to flip the coin. He has nothing to lose and wants to go down swinging. No one else wants to flip the coin. Aubry doesn’t want Rick to flip it but doesn’t want to flip it herself. She is the only player left who can position herself to beat Cirie. Jeff and Mr. Beast are a little disappointed that there isn’t a verbal fight for the flip, but they are just chaos designers and cannot predict a player’s actions or heart the way God can. If Rick loses the flip, he will go out with a whimper but can always say that he was never voted out of Survivor.
Rick wins the flip. Everything and nothing changes. Jeff allows a lengthy scramble, and Steohanie tells Jonathan she is going to use her ‘steal-a-vote’. Jonathan doesn’t seem to care, he knows what is about to happen, and he knows that he will be complicit. Stephanie announces her advantage, decides to steal Rick’s vote and casts two votes for Aubry. I don’t think those girls said two words to each other for the entire game. Stephanie voted out unanimously.
Another landslide. Even Joe and Jonathan vote for Stephanie, something that was unconscionable before Rick won the flip. Jonathan is all alone, but he won’t be eliminated before Rick or Joe. He will team up with Aubry and Tiffany, but will they kill the right pig, go for a weakling? And will they do it without information getting back to Cirie?
Power Rankings:
Cirie
Rizo
Aubry
Jonathan
Ozzy
Tiffany
Rick
Emily
Joe